Sad Magic
by HandsOnDisformedLambs
Summary: Mpreg. Tommy Ratliff needs tutoring, but he wasn't expecting his pretty and popular tormentor, Adam Lambert, to be in his room teaching him. But Adam gives Tommy more than just lessons for school, like maybe a kid?...ADOMMY/LAMBLIFF. WARNING: DRUGS
1. I Need A Boyfriend, Not A Tutor

This is another slow moving story. I don't know where this idea came from, but I just started writing. I do think I'm biting off more than I can chew with all these stories, but oh well...

:D Hope you enjoy!

* * *

"Thomas Joe Ratliff! What is the meaning of this D?" my mother yelled, pointing her finger at the large red letter scribbled across my English essay. I was surprised my egotistical muckrake of a teacher didn't write, "I fucking hate Tommy, and I hope to kill him soon. His intellect barely outranks that of an infant!" Yea, he doesn't like me very much at all…But then again he doesn't like anyone at all except his damn self and all the pretty bitches that attend the school. He's a pervert, and no higher authorities seem to care about that one tiny aspect.

But here we go again. This happens practically every day. I come home, grudgingly give my mother a marked down piece of paper (more like piece of crap) just for her to yell at me and say that I need to improve my grades. But honestly, I didn't care about them. I'm seventeen and I don't need some lecture shit from my forty nine year-old mother. It was the same rant every time! 'You'll never succeed in life if you keep going down this route!', 'Thomas, baby, please do this for me.' It was pathetic really. She knew I was stubborn, but she never stopped her ludicrous nagging…Don't get me wrong, I do love my mother, but honestly, I'll never be the child she wants me to be. And I thought she already knew this from the get go. Of course I feel bad for not giving her everything she could possible hope for, but I can't change myself to make it so I'm that golden child. It just wouldn't be me. And I know that sounds insanely selfish, but would you go out of your way to become a goody two-shoes, just so your mother could be happy for a couple days until you drop back into your old shell? That would be an even bigger disappointment than before.

"I don't know, it could mean a lot of things…Dog, dance, doodle…" I mumbled, crossing my arms and not giving a rat's ass about the grade. School is just school. It's not going to help me launch my career in being the best bassist of all fucking time. So why should I care? If writing an advanced essay about Romeo and Juliet's love life and their complications between each other, will help me with my dream, hell, I'll write five pages, but too bad for Romeo and his bitch; neither of them played guitar. They were just two sad people that were kept away from each other when they were falling in love. I didn't even read the book. It's called blogs on the internet.

"Thomas, that it! This is the last straw! I'm getting you a tutor, and you are going to get these horrible grades raised up to at least a C! Please," she begged, looking at me seriously and her arms crossed. I knew she meant business, but I didn't. What's the worst she could do? She loved me too much to hit me, kick me out of my growing (but miserably failing) band, or even take away my most prized possession. And I worked this weakness to my advantage.

"No…" I muttered, standing up and walking out of the kitchen. I didn't need this crap. As long as I had my bass, that was all I really needed. Hell, I could be homeless and I wouldn't even think twice about sleeping in a box as long as my bass was safe with me.

"Fine then, Thomas. I'm taking your bass," she threatened. And that was all she needed to say for me to turn around and shook my head like a child that didn't want his mommy to take away his favorite toy. Bitch, she finally gave in. I knew it took every fiber of her being not to cry from saying those four dreaded words. But when she said something, she meant it. And I knew that if I were to deny the tutor now, my life would be taken away from me, thanks to my stupid D…

"I'll take a stupid tutor!" I yelled, running upstairs and slamming my door. Fuck me, I hated the woman (I'm bipolar, okay?). Why the hell did I need a tutor for? Okay, that was probably the world's worst and most obvious question ever. But seriously. She's probably going to get some old man pedophile that would rather rape me than teach me the basics to simple physics. Man. And how embarrassing would it be if everyone in my school found out about my short comings? I mean, not I wouldn't give a damn about what they thought of me, but it certainly wouldn't make life any easier, that's for sure.

As you probably already know, I'm Thomas (No, I hate that name-let me start over)-Tommy Joe Ratliff. My mother is Lily Ratliff, and my father left us when I was four. I'm not _that_ judgmental (understatement of the year), so I can't call him a bastard on my behalf, but I can on my mother's. She was so broken when he left, that I think she even forgot she had son. By my age of five, she finally regained herself and began being a mother to me again. But by that time, I was already an independent loner. Of course, she later regretted the fact that she had abandoned me and smothered me with anything a teenager could want. That's why I probably suck in school; never had any discipline to actually finish my homework. So partially, it's her and mine fault. But whatever.

And I'm gay! Okay? Don't laugh. Wait, you can go ahead and laugh if you want too, because I don't care. Being gay isn't a choice like _some _people might think. It's something you're born with and you can't change it, just like the color of your hair. No matter how many times you dye it, underneath, it will always be your natural hair color. So any homophobic bastards can go fuck themselves, because I'm sure no girl will want too…In fact, I've never had sex. Surprised, huh? A 'rebel' like me from the back hood never once did a guy. Well, it's pretty hard being gay here. My mother doesn't even know about it, and if I tell her, I know she'll support me in every way possible, but I would disappoint her to the ends of oblivion.

Sometimes, when we're cooking together (I can cook, is that a crime? Don't come crying to me when you're dying because you never learned how to make spaghetti) she'll talk for hours about how great of a life I'll have with my wife and three beautiful children. Since she rants about it so frequently, I've never had the guts to "come out of the closet" as some people say. I can't imagine her talking freely about me and my husband and our gorgeous Chinese adopted daughter. It just doesn't seem up her alley. I'm not saying she's against gay people or anything. It's just that she seems like the kind of person who just wants a normal life for her kid, and no complication inquired. Too bad she doesn't even know the worst part.

I sighed and stripped down to my bright red boxers. I had a fairly average body, but I was pretty skinny and small. This led to quite a bit of bullying, but I have fists too, and I'm not afraid to use them. However, my biggest hater was this dick named Adam Lambert. I don't know what his problem is, but he seems to find it extremely amusing kicking my ass and taunting me to the point of no return. One time, he pushed me up against my locker and got real close to my face. Then, he just stared at me with those blistering blue-gray eyes. I was freaked out, yea, but what could I do at that point? His eyes were sucking me in, and I was in a daze. Alright, I'm a sap for pretty boys, but all the handsome dudes are either straight or dicks. That's right, not taken, no. They're dicks like Adam fucking Lambert. If he was even remotely nice to me, and maybe actually hung out with me, I'd tap his ass so quickly. But he was a douche-jerk, just like the rest of them. Adam hangs out with the jocks and whatnot. But those jocks are delicious, I grudgingly say. While they're at their popular lunch table, sucking up, I'm in my preferable dark corner, sucking up all the depression in the room that seems to seep through my skin.

So I was a loner. It was the way I lived. So I was a cutter, that's the way I relieve stress. Sure, I was told plenty of times to stop by my mothers' rants, but I never heeded her pleads. It was like an addiction. She was lucky I didn't do crack. I smoked pot, oh, fuck did I smoke pot. I have an entire stash under my mattress. I'm a messed up rebel that is pretty cliché (except for the fact that I'm gay). And I know this life will get me no where except the gutters. But I'm already so far deep in the shit hole, there's no turning back now.

Truth is, I do get lonely, but I would never let it show. I'm too proud to allow such a weak emotion to surface on my rather tough exterior. But, having a friend would be nice. Someone to talk to and talk me out of my bad habits (Lily's done it so much, I tune her out now). It sounds so pathetic, I know, but what other choice do I have? I'm forlorn, and there's nothing I can do about. Sure, I could clean up my act, but old habits die hard. This specific (and dream) person would have to have a really powerful impact on my life. And honestly, I don't think that will ever happen. I'm too far down the gutter.

Anyway, back on the topic of Dicky Adam. Why was he like the way he was? Pretty, but as rude as rude fucking gets? Fuck if I know and frankly I could give a rat's ass about what he thinks of me or how he treats me. But damn was he pretty. With his flowing and gelled milkshake hair and those penetrating blue eyes. So, I had a crush on the guy, but I would never admit it. He's such a jerk.

I looked in the mirror before I passed out from stress. I was okay with my reflection: not good, but most certainly not bad. I was me, and I couldn't do anything about it. My black bangs were parted and greasy (I take a shower about three times a week; say ew, I don't care), and my blond scalp was slightly messy with a thick coat of shine covering it. My eyes were brown. Just shit brown (most certainly not an Adam Lambert color), and I couldn't be happier with them. With a small sigh, I got into bed and closed my eyes, dreading tomorrow and my fucking tutor.

* * *

Normally, on Saturdays, I would be as happy as a dog receiving a bone. Not today. No, instead of relaxing and practicing my bass, I was going to be taught by some smelly old man. Oh joy.

"Sweetie, eat some breakfast," Lily said, setting down a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch in front of me. "Your tutor should be here any minute…" And as if on cue, there was a knock at the door and she ran to it and greeted whoever was knocking. "Hello! I'm so glad you could take this job! Thank you so much for coming on such short notice. I really appreciate this…" I heard her talking and it was barely auditable. I just munched on my cereal, staring intently at my bowl as if it was freaking Gandhi, not averting my eyes to the two of them talking. Who was it going to be? Someone from my school? I doubt it. Nobody there was smart. They were all dumbasses like me. And I knew I didn't have to worry about my tutor being one of my tormentors. They may be pretty, but they're as stupid as a nail. So what are my other options? A teacher? No, they hate students. Yea, believe it or not, all the 'mentors' that call themselves teachers hate kids and practically abuse us at school. It's more sad than shocking, really. So I couldn't imagine one of them volunteering to tutor a helpless child. Hm, so students and teachers are crossed out. Who else is there? Someone professional off of Craig's List? Perhaps…I could hear them walk into the kitchen (breaking me from my trance). "Baby, this is your tutor."

Reluctantly I looked up and saw _it. _It, with its gorgeous strawberry milkshake hair. It, with its piercingly familiar ocean blue eyes. It, with freckled lips that taunted me everyday. Its name was Adam Lambert.

"Hey, Tommy," he chime cheerfully, waving to me, as if all the times he had ruined my day meant nothing at this point. He (it) was dressed in some tight skinny jeans that hugged him perfectly, and just made him look like a fucking god. His (its) perfect ass made me want to drool with pure envy. His (its) black nailed hands were placed casually in the taut pockets. His (its) torso was covered by a Marilyn Mason shirt (oh, no…I LOVE Marilyn Manson, and so does he! Could this guy be anymore perfect? Aside from the part of being an asshole). Necklaces covered his neck, and a single silver earring dangled from his left lobe. He had thick black eyeliner on and minimal eye shadow. His thick lips were creased into a genuine smile.

My heart had stopped beating, but I made this fact unknown as I snarled lightly into my food and glared up at him. "_What_?" I hissed and Lily immediately got angry. Here we go again. She's going to treat me like a child and tell me to settle down. Don't do this in front of _it_! I already have enough problems as it is as school. He doesn't need to know what happens in my personal life too!

"Tommy, he's going to be teaching you for awhile now! Don't make him hate you on the first day…" she demanded, making my ego drop all the way down to hell for Satan himself to dance on it. "Now go upstairs and starts working!" she commanded, smiling at Adam and giving me a stern look. "Play nice." He just shot her back a breathtaking smile and turned it to me.

I rolled my eyes and stormed upstairs, Adam hot on my tail. I walked into my room, and gestured him in. He smirked a little and practically strutted (like a strutting GOD) into my unkempt room; glancing around my crib (sometimes I call it that to sound cool). His hands were still in his pockets, and he nodded his head. He nodded it like I needed his inspection on my room and I mentally rolled my eyes and scoffed. This guy really thought he was everything. And of course he was right. But still, he didn't need to rub off his ego on me. Me: A fragile and pathetic loser who cuts himself to get rid of the terribleness radiating off school.

"You've got a nice place here. I like it," he commented, sitting on my bed, crossing his legs. I noticed his cheetah boots pretty much sparkle through the sun's penetrating rays. "Do you play the guitar?" Adam suddenly asked, looking at my bass. He smiled again and gazed at me. Rage suddenly boiled in the pit of my stomach. How dare he look at my most prized possession. No, his eyes don't even get to look at it! Fuck him and his glamorous ways! I'm not going to take for this anymore!

"Listen, you're here to teach me stupid education. Not glance around my room and make petty conversation," I snapped. Harshly. He seemed a bit taken back by my venomous tone and shrugged it off.

"Fine, Mr. Ratliff. Let's get started." He said that in such a voice that made my heart swell and burst. Oh, frick. How long did he have to teach me all this stuff?

I would much rather have that old guy pedophile be my tutor, than this narcissistic and glamorous jackass from Hell.


	2. You Like Me? Wait, Hate Me?

I'm thinking of doing an Mpreg with Adam and Tommy. What do you guys think? I don't know. I just don't see a lot of Adommy Mpreg's, and I really like them...Aw, well.

* * *

"Alright, so if pi isn't divisible by that number, then what do you get?" I asked, completely and utterly bored after the two torturous hours of being with Adam Fucking Lambert and his "glamorousness". The only thing we were talking about were numbers and the laws of physics, but the sound of his voice pisses me the hell off. The way it ends in a phenomenal high pitch, and the melody dripping from his lips. Man…

"NO! Pi isn't divisible by _anything_!" he said, sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Maybe we should take a break or something," he suggested lying on my (I mind you; Adam Lambert is lying on _my_ bed! What the fuck gave him the motivation to do that?) bed and closing his eyes, putting his arms behind his head. And as much as I hated his filthy guts, I couldn't help but feel extremely gay towards him. But he's like the straightest man alive. And here I was. Some gay rebel that just wanted to shove my penis so far up his ass he'd scream uncle! But those are fantasies, Tommy. Mere fantasies…

"Well you don't have to get all pissy about it," I mumbled, crossing my arms and turning my chair so I was facing him. Why was he here? Why was he my tutor? And worse of all: Why in the name of GOD (let's get one thing straight, there _is no_ God. Just thought I'd get that out of the way) did fate hate me so much?

"With that attitude, you'll never go to college. You'll live in a box for the rest of your life. If that's your dream, go ahead and live it. I'm not going to stop you." He shrugged, crossing his boots and putting both his hands behind his head.

"You're over exaggerating a bit, aren't you?" I asked raising an eyebrow. Then I was thinking; why on earth am I even trying to start a convseratoin with this God? That just doesn't seem like me.

"I'm just stating facts," he muttered, closing his eyes. They had black eyeshadow on them. He was either gay with great make-up tips, or a feminine straight man that just conveniently knows his make-up and style. Plus clothes, of course.

"Pssh, whatever…" I mumbled, and had the sudden urge to just smoke some pot right now, but knowing Mr. Goody-Two shoes, he'd probably tell on me. I know it sounds so elementary school, but whatever. He's perfect, and that means absolutely no drugs. "I gotta go to the bathroom; I'll be right back…" I muttered, leaving and going to the restroom that connected to my room. I actually didn't need to take a piss, but I felt like getting out of the same room as that bastard. It was like he was filling the air with his arrogance, and I can only take so much. It felt like my lungs were about to implode inwardly.

After washing my face with bitter cold water, I walked back into my crib (teehee), and spotted a pair of leopard boots crossed and the owner had a smirk on his face. My eyes gazed up at his face, and I gasped. Not only because of the striking beauty of his sneer, but what he was grasping in his hand.

"What's this?" he asked slyly, holding up my bag off weed and shaking it a bit. How the _hell _did he obtain that? What possessed him to rampage through my room and find my stash? He had to lift up my mattress to retrieve that bag! Was he some kind of snoop or something? Nosy son of a bitch…

"I-I…Don't know how it got there?" I lamely answered and blushed a bit. Not only because of my pathetic excuse for an answer but because I had been caught. Now my torturer knew my weakness. He's probably gonna run downstairs screaming to my mother, telling on me.

"Do you have a pipe?" he asked, raising a perfect thick, black eyebrow. I looked at him like he was completely insane, but nodded none the less. "Good. Get it, shut your door, pop a window, and I'll crush the weed," he ordered, and like a mindless idiot I followed his orders. How did he know what to do? This was exactly what I did when going through a pot session. I quickly went through my drawer and found my precious pipe and handed it to him. He smiled his same breathtaking smile and shoved some of the weed in top and placed the tip in his mouth. I handed him the lighter and he held it upside down and lit the lighter. I saw him close his eyes and suck in deeply then pull the pipe away. He didn't even cough. Adam merely exhaled some of the smoke and I inhaled that through my nostrils. Weird. It smelt like weed and coffee…

"Here you go," he said, his eyelids slumping lightly. I took the pipe and looked at the tip. Some of his spit still graced it. I just shrugged and did the same process. Except instead of just smoking in the weedy flavor, coffee mixed into my mouth and I swallowed. I felt a bit light headed, but that was just the thrill. Is that what he tasted like? It's weird 'cause his hair smells like peaches. Sweet, sweet peaches…

"I didn't know you smoked," I commented as he took another whiff, handing it back to me. He shrugged and grinned.

"Well you don't know a lot of things about me. We are in different social classes," he stated and my shoulders slumped lightly.

"Don't remind me. You treat me like complete shit…" I muttered, taking in a deep inhale a coughing lightly at the intake. He just looked at me sympathetically (I don't need sympathy, I don't need pity, so leave me alone with those damned puppy dog eyes). I looked back at him, and everything seemed to disappear except for his beautiful figure. Well, that was odd. Damn drug…

"I only do it to keep my rank. You are kind of the loser of the school." He kind of gave me a look that said 'Didn't you know?' I growled lightly and punched his arm. "OW!" Such a drama queen. I didn't even hit him that hard. "You didn't even let me finish my sentence," he said, grabbing my chin and tilting it up. "The only reason I treat you like that is because I like you," he slurred, his left eyebrow twitching. Shit, that was hot. "You're such a little elf looking boy…" he groaned, attacking my lips with his glossy thick ones. I gasped, but he only took that as an opportunity to enter his tongue. His shadowed eyes were closed and I soon closed mine, tangling my finger in his newly black dyed hair (it used to be this strawberry color, but one day he just went to school and it was black…). He moaned and pushed me so I was lying on the floor. His hands were on either side of my head and he straddled me.

I felt something sharp poke into my stomach and I couldn't help but chuckle a bit at it. Erection, much? Even though I was one to talk. My zipper was about to pop. I felt his cold hand slide up my shirt and quickly take it off. I felt a bit self-conscious, but when he removed his lips from mine, they quickly took place on my stomach and began butterfly kissing up to my neck. In that amount of time I had managed to take another whiff of weed. He seemed to want some, so he just inhaled quickly and assaulted my mouth again.

Where was this getting at? We're just two drugged up teenager about to get into each other's pants. Is this cliché? I hope it's not cliché…Stereotypical situations aren't really my thing (if you know what I mean).

His swift (and rather professional) hands undid my zipper and he pulled my pants down to my knees and immediately went for my crotch; rubbing his fist up and down it rapidly. I moaned loudly into his mouth and I could feel him laugh a bit. Don't come in my pants, don't come in my pants, don't-DAMNIT! My manly-hood suddenly became very sticky and wet in my underwear. I looked up at him angrily and he just smiled from my lips. He got up and took of his shirt, and I couldn't help but allow my mouth to open a bit. That was one freckled, tone chest. Is that…_chest hair_? No, fucking way! How the hell does he have chest hair at the age of eighteen? Is that even _possible_? Oh fuck me. I've just got this pale, pasty, _hairless_, hair…Hm. Unfair, much?

"Do you like what you see?" he asked, smirking again and kissing from my chest down to the hem of my underwear. I moaned in response and that seemed to be enough for him. "That's what I thought. I'm sexy, aren't I?" I nodded furiously and he grinned. "You're not too shabby yourself, cutie…" He winked a bit and spanked my ass. Jesus, he was one professional make-outer? Is that something? Oh, screw logic and names, I'm about to perhaps screw the hottest guy in the _world_!

My hands moved on their own as I quickly tried to undo his belt buckle. Adam just shook his head and grabbed them, pinning my arms above my head. "If we're going to do this, I'm going to lead, alright?" I sighed lightly. I should've expected as much…

"Fine…" I mumbled and he smiled, releasing my wrists and pulling down my underwear. Oh, shit. The moment of truth…Am I bigger than he expected? Or is this the end of it? Please don't be the end of it…I want to have someone feel me and actually enjoy it.

"You're more hung than I expected. Nice," was all he said before he curled his hands around my penis and began to pump it. Shit, shit, shit, shit! My back arched in pure pleasure and I moaned loudly, trying to suppress it so my mother didn't hear. "You like that?" he asked. Uh, stupidest question of the year! I absolutely _adore_ it Mr. Lambert!

When I finally came for the second time, he licked his hand of it as if it were whip cream. "Wanna see me?" he asked, and I nodded, my headache worsening from the weed. And having my head against hard wood floors didn't help much either. It pounded profusely, but I tried to ignore it so I could enjoy this once in a lifetime experience. "Good. Take off my belt," he ordered. I did as I was told and threw it across the room; it skidded and landed near the baby blue wall. He slowly unzipped his pants and pulled them down. Why wasn't he wearing underwear? Who in the name of god doesn't wear underwear with their pants? My face began to burn at the sight. Oh, hell YES! He was fucking huge (as expected from someone as great as him). "You like?" he asked, and all I could do was nod. "Well good." His eyes seemed to have a gleam if impishness.

He grabbed my wrist and placed my hand on _it. _He groaned lightly arching his head back, allowing me to curl my fingers around the thickness. Dude, this was really happening, wasn't it? He groaned even more, but it seemed to be more out of pain than anything else. He suddenly shook his head with his eyes closed and opened them back up. They were still a bit red in the white area surrounding his beautiful blue orbs. I just kind of smiled awkwardly up at him and he gasped, looking down at his cock and my hand. "WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?" he screamed, pushing himself off of me, forcing my head to bang against the hard wood floor. Not so great for my headache, Sherlock. "Dude, I'm not gay. How the hell did you even get me into this situation?" he snarled, looking for his underwear. What was his problem? He's the one that made the first move and forced himself on me.

I just moaned a little (out of sadness, rejection, and my immense migraine). "Y-You're the one that came onto me…" I muttered, pulling on my shirt and boxers. Inwardly, I sighed. It was _way_ too good to be true. Me? About to screw Adam Lambert? At least I touched his joy and pride. How many people can say that? Alright, that's a stupid question. He's kind of a man-whore. That's right. He's had sex with about every girl, and possibly boy, in the school. I didn't even notice it, but I was sort of dazing out when suddenly I was thrust against a wall. My eyes widened, and I looked at a confused and angered face in front of me. He was like a death angel. It was like a constant aura of gorgeousness radiates off this man!

"You are never, _never_, going to tell anyone about this. This was an absolute mistake, and I have no idea why I even considered it. You're just so…" He turned his head to the side and snarled at me suddenly. "Just. Never tell anyone what happened tonight. Do you understand?" he whispered in a venomous tone. His left eyebrow twitched, and I wondered if it was a habit, or just plain sexy. Was it involuntary? Oof, get back on track, Ratliff!

I just gulped lightly and nodded. He narrowed his eyes and immediately released his grip from me, storming out of my room. "Fag." That was all he said before leaving. I could hear him bid his farewells to my mother as the door slammed.

I sighed, and willed myself not to cry. I slowly slid down the wall. Deep down inside, I knew it was just plain awful and pathetic. Jesus, I'm sick of this. Why am I always the victim? This just doesn't seem right. Wait, maybe I can use this to my advantage. If he's all popular and questionably a homosexual, couldn't I use this to destroy his reputation and force him down to my "loser level"? That would work, wouldn't it? Maybe for once, I could actually bring _him_ down. Give him a taste of his own medicine.

I smirked lightly and pulled on my pants, walking into the bathroom, washing my hands (ridding myself of those awful Adam germs). I fixed my hair and walked downstairs, a rare grin on my face. My mother eyed me wearily. My head, of course, was still pounding and about to split, but I always get those when smoking. You get use to it after awhile.

"What's wrong?" she asked and I rolled my eyes, sitting on the stool and twirling around a bit, the master plan working in my mind. It was in fucking overdrive.

"Can't I smile without being questioned?" I asked, shrugging a bit. She sighed and started dinner.

"Do you want to keep Adam as a tutor? I had an alternative if you didn't like him."

"Nah, I'll keep Adam. It'll be fun."


	3. I Hate The Things You Do To Me

Hey ladies, gents, and Glamberts! Guess what! -drum roll- I've decided to make this an Mpreg! Yea, weird, right? But I don't know. Adam being a daddy is just so amazing (even if he is a jerk in this story)! Hope that's not a problem…

* * *

"Fag, you're such a stupid piece of shit!" Adam laughed at me, pushing me against my locker and slapping my books and papers out of my hands. My essay and math homework drifted to the floor, and Adam's large black boot stepped on it, making a large footprint on my once in a life time neat handwriting. I was pretty pissed at that because he helped me write it. And for like…the first time in a long time, I was happy with something I had actually created with my own creativity. Even though I did have to give _some_ credit to _him_. He did however; explain the complications between Romeo and Juliet to me.

"You don't even try in school, that's why I have to tutor you, huh?" he asked, smirking. I didn't like that smirk. It was my worst enemy. But it was an intoxicating sneer, nonetheless. Drake and Brad laughed from behind him and my eyes fell to the ground. They were he "posse", as he liked to call them. They didn't have minds of their own. They did whatever Adam said, when he said it. And they failed all their classes too. The brunette was like a drug to them. Bad for them, but addicting. If they hung around the popular male, they too would be taken up a rank in the social class and wouldn't have to stoop down to my pathetic level.

Damn it. I hated this, but there was nothing I could do. He overpowered me in every way possible. Both physically and mentally. So over the years of his torment, I realized that the best thing to do in these situations is to just take the abuse, relax (being tense causes more pain), and agree with everything he said. But lately, things have been really, really different. He was being even crueler to me than lately. I'm thinking it's because he's being resentful about our previous make-out session. But that's hardly my fault. He's the one that came onto me, doesn't he remember? Anyway…But this beating was extremely different from the rest…

"Yo, guys, I'm gonna go give him a swirly, you go ahead of me, okay?" Adam said, gesturing Brad and Drake to leave.

"Sure thing, Adam. Tell us the result. I hope he cries like a baby," Drake said, grinning like an idiot. None the less, they obeyed like the obedient dogs they were and practically skipped off. Which was odd considering their jocks, and jocks don't just skip off. Fucking retards.

Adam dragged me to the bathroom and locked the door shut. Not to a stall, but to the _entire_ bathroom so no one could enter. My eyes widened and I looked at him, slightly nervous. As sad as it sounds, I wouldn't be surprised if he killed me. If he just whipped out a knife and stabbed my jugular. Adam seems to be really pissy about his tutoring class with me. He hates me so much. And you know what…I never understood why. Until the day when he kissed me, he was a bitch to me, but I never gave it much thought as to _why_ I was his victim. There were plenty of nerds to just beat the crap out of; so why me? I didn't do anything to him. Hell, I never spoke a word to him until one day he just beat the shit out of me for no adequately explained reason. And that's when it all began. And to this day, I still have no idea why he treats me like this.

The brunette released his grip from me and checked all the stalls, and conveniently enough, they were all empty. Why couldn't there be a rush of bladder incidents, like…right now? It's just my luck. Adam's luck is perfect, just like he is. Does this seem fair? Hardly. This fucking sucks. And to put a cherry on top of shit, why am I thinking so much and describing every detail of what's happening? My mind can't take this much abuse and trauma.

Then, before I could even react, I was thrust against the wall and his strong hands were fiddling with my belt. He quickly undid it and unzipped my pants, pulling it down. I gasped. "W-What are you doing?" I tried to break away, but his entire body weight was on me. I was beginning to panic. This was not good. What was he planning to do? Okay, that was a stupid question. Well, Mr. Ratliff, he pulled your pants down. Now, he's either doing to stabbed you in the ass with a knife, or bang you. What do you think is going to happen?

_Shut up rational part of my brain._

He sighed against my neck and that sent a shiver to go down my spine. Close contact. Not my thing. "What do you think? It's not considered rape as long as it doesn't hurt. That's why I bought lube. You want cherry or green apple?" he asked, and I heard his pants drop to the floor. I didn't even have time to react to the clink of his belt, because my mind immediately went to my underwear being pulled down. "Choose," he ordered, digging his black nails into my hip flesh. I took in a sharp breath.

"C-Cherry?" I asked and I could feel him nod as he did something else and suddenly he put a tube of something in my hand. I looked down at the container and it was white except for a brim of red. There was a cartoon cherry on the cover and it read _'Cherry Lube: Used to make intimacy more enjoyable for you and your partner.' _Well that's nice of him. He bought lube for this unexpected occasion. Thank you Mr. Adam Lambert and your courtesy. Oh, that's right. I have to remember it's _not_ rape because you're not going to make it hurt. Well, I would like to remind you this is my first time. And the last person I thought to take my virginity would be Adam fucking Lambert. Should I tell him this is my first time I took it up the ass? Oh, like he cared. All he wants to do is fuck you, and the last thing on his mind is whether or not you're a virgin. A _tight _virgin at that.

_I said shut up, brain. I don't need your shit right now. _

"Stop stalling and rub it on my dick," he snarled, suddenly grasping my shoulders and whipping me around to face him and taking the lube from my hands, opening it up, and squeezing the sticking, transparent and red liquid-solid on my hands. I gasped and my eyes fell onto his eyes. "GO!" he yelled, and subconsciously, my hands curled around his really (and this thing was _huge_. Even though I'm not a good judgment at that; the only dick I've seen is my own…) hung penis and as gently as I could, I smothered it with the substance. "That's a good Glitterbaby…" he moaned, tangling his hand in my hair. _GLITTERBABY? _What. The. Fuck? Is he bipolar or something? I do _not_ approve of that nickname. First of all, I _never _wear glitter, and second of all am; I not a baby! Where in the name of god did that name come from? Shit, why am I worrying about that nickname when I'm touching Adam's penis? He's my tormentor, or for all you elementary kids, "bully". He's treated me like shit for the past, what? Five years. Why am I even commanding to his demands? Am I weak? Or deep down do I really want this? Do I want him to take my virginity?

You want this.

_Fuck you._

"Good." That's all I heard before I was being forced against the wall and I felt something enter inside my ass. SHIT! I had to tell him this was my first time. It hurt a lot more than I expected. Where's the pleasure? Maybe he'll go easy on me? Fat chance. If he beat the shit out of you every day of your life, why would he make having sex with you any better? Like he's going to heed your request.

"W-Wait. I-I've never taken it up the ass before…" I whispered, trying to turn my head to face him. But it was rather difficult because his hand was pressed securely on my cheek. His skin was cold and soft. Smooth and slippery with sweat.

"No, duh, Sherlock. Who would want to even have sex with you?" he asked. "Now shut up…" He groaned and his hands slid down to my hips where he dug his sharp nails into my skin. I moaned in more pain than anything else. Sure the lube was helping, helping big time. But I was pretty tight. It's not like I do asshole excises where I stretch it out every morning in case, by some coincidence Adam wants to just have sex with me out of the blue. But wait, he just said, _who would want to have sex with you?_ Well, obviously you would, right Adam? I mean, you're doing it right now. Then I felt him enter more. A little more. And a little more…Shit. How big is he? It's like never ending.

"Moan for me…" He whispered, leaning his face against my hair. His breath was hot and it smelt of coffee and alcohol. He drank? Man, he wasn't as uptight as I thought. He smokes weed with me, and he smells like vodka. Was he a rebel like me? Is that why he's attracted to me? Because we're both rebels? No, he's not a cliché rebel like me. I'm the kind that has no friends, does drugs, and isolated himself in his room. Adam is a popular, talented, beautiful and apparently, a druggy and alcoholic rebel. But still…To everyone he's fucking God. And I'm just a piece of shit. Why? Why are we do different, yet the same? How come our lives have had such different outcomes?

Then I thought, maybe I should just stop thinking so much into the situation and just enjoy this sex. Adam should be good at it, right? He is the man-whore of the school. So I moaned through my teeth, and took a chance by whispering his name sensually into the wall. And shit, did he seem to like that.

"That's good, Glitters…I like that. Now I'm going to go in all the way. Brace yourself," he warned. That's weird. Why does he give a crap about- OH SHIT! I clenched my eyes shut and banged on the wall, groaning and a tear forming in the corner of my left eye. It was like my body was in a fire of ecstasy. This is so fucking queer (no pun intended). And I didn't even know what was happening to my body when he began to go back and forth, back and forth. This was so bad. So, so, bad! I loved it! I don't want to be a sex addict. But if sex is really like this, give it to me twenty-four/seven!

"S-Shit!" I growled, bucking my hips forward, forcing Adam to lean on me. He was panting lightly, then I felt something just rush into me. Like a liquid. So. Fucking. Weird. Did…Did Adam Lambert just _come_ inside of me? Where was his fucking condom? He has so much sex; god only knows if he has AIDS or STDs…Shit, I should have asked him to wear a condom. But I know that if we have that plastic to barricade his penis and all its fluids, it wouldn't feel nearly as good. And shit, it felt so, so, so, (I could do a million more so's just because he's a SEX GOD) pleasurable.

"Good, job. You're pretty good at being my bitch," the beautiful man said, slowly exiting me and smiling. Was he smiling at me? That's so strange. Why is he so happy? It's not like sex is new to him or anything.

Wait. A week ago when he went over to my house and made out with me, he made me swear not to tell a living soul and that I was a fag. Doesn't this make him gay? Or bi. So isn't he being a hypocrite? Probably all three!

I groaned lightly, bending over and picking up my underwear and pants, sliding them up and zipping them. Adam did the same thing, but had a huge ass smile on his face. I looked at him quizzically and had to ask him the question that was nagging on my brain. "What the _fuck _was that? When you were making out with me at my house, you called me a fag and were a complete douche to me! Now you just practically had sex with me, and you're all doing is smiling! Are you-?"

His lips interrupted my rant, and his tongue graced my teeth. Mm, the sweet taste of coffee. I opened my mouth like the sad desperate male I was. I could feel his lips form into a smirk and his eyes were shut. His eyelids were lightly coated in a smoky texture of pink glitter and blue eye shadow. Now _that _was pretty gay. His tongue wrestled with mine and he won; that fucking bastard. He pulled away, but his teeth grasped my bottom lip and he stretched it like an elastic band. Adam soon let go of it. "You're a nice playboy. You're cute, and you allow me to lead. That's why I love it. But I still don't expect you to tell anyone. Because if any of this slips your precious, cinnamon flavored lips, all hell will break loose, and I'm positive, I'll kill you," he stated, smiling and kissing me cheek before sliding his finger up to my mouth and parting my lips with his black nailed index finger so it could enter. My tongue circled around it and he moaned lightly.

Then when I immediately figured out what I was doing, I pulled away leaning against the wall. "Hey, I'm not going to just let you fuck me anytime you want! That's not right! I'm not going to be your whore that you can just ass rape anytime you want…" I snarled, and looked into his eyes. He didn't seem to like the fact that I was standing up for myself.

"Yes you are. Because you like it just as much as I do. You're desperate and pitiful, Thomas. Admit it. You fail in school, you probably suck and the bass, and you're not even-"

My hand came in contact with his cheek. I know it sounds like something a sissy would do, but I most certainly wasn't going to punch him. Not only would he "tell on me", but I would be charged with assault and he would make my life even more of a bigger hell than he already was making it. But I slapped that bitch. He just said I probably didn't play bass that well. That was like telling a mother with a gorgeous child that her kid was as ugly as shit. No one and I mean _no one_ insults me or my bass playing skills. I fucking rule at that instrument and no one, not even Adam Lambert are going to tell me otherwise.

He seemed a bit taken back by my blow and his eyes narrowed in a glare. Next thing I knew, I was against the wall, and his hand was curled around my throat, his eyes screaming death. "Not only will you not tell anyone about our little encounters, you will always allow me to be on top, you will never talk back to me. And on top of that, you will never…" he eyes narrowed even more into a death glared. I was actually frightened by the expression on his face. "Ever…Touch me like _that_ again. Blink if you understand," he demanded. That's all I could do. Blink. I was completely petrified. He was blocking my windpipe and it was becoming more difficult to breathe. "Good." He let go of my neck and spit on my face. I could feel his saliva slid down my cheek. "Get to class." That was all Adam said before swiftly turning around and unlocking the door. He exited the bathroom, leaving me panting against the wall.

Fuck me. Did I just get told off by Adam? Did I just have sex with Adam? Why didn't he wear a condom? I know I shouldn't be worrying about that because it's not like I can get pregnant or anything. But still. All kinds of diseases run through cum and seaman. Next time he tries to rape me, I'll have to ask him politely to wear one. Maybe he could do that out of common courtesy? Fat chance, Tommy. All I had to worry about were diseases though. Not like I can get pregnant. Pssh, I'm a dude. That's merely impossible.

I sighed and looked in the mirror, fixing my hair and exhaling lightly. Okay, just go to class like nothing happened. And that's exactly what happened.

But the aftermath was complete shit.


	4. Common Courtesy, Big Mistake

Haha. I had to look up "early pregnancy symptoms" to write this chapter. Hope my parents don't accidentally stumble across my web history…

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"Tommy, sweetie…Are you alright? You've been in there for half an hour. You need to go to school, sweetie," my mother's soft and concerned voice drifted through the door of my bathroom and rang in my ear. Her high-pitched voice made me gag even more and I threw up into the round and once white (it was splattered with whatever in the name of hell I was puking up) toilet bowl. I didn't even know _what_ I was throwing up. But all I know was that it looked like noodles, and it felt like acid when it came back up from my throat. I've never thrown up like this before. But shit, it was pretty shitty. If there's a higher power, he must hate the living crap out of me.

My body convulsed again and I heaved into the toilet, holding my bangs out of my face. They were pretty long, and at times like this (which weren't often), I wish I had just chopped them off like Lily said (she wasn't really into men with long hair, though it was just my bangs that were long). But screw me they were an obstacle right now. I don't want to have to take another shower because I got remnants of last night's dinner stuck in them. And luck took a turn for the best today (which is fucking RARE), and my stomach lurked one last time before it settled down and stopped being a bitch.

Once I was sure I could hold it down, I got up and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. I walked over to the sink and poured some mouthwash into a small cup and gulped it, gargling and rinsed that out with water. I exhaled deeply and looked at myself in the mirror and didn't like what I saw. I hadn't been sleeping lately because I got up constantly to puke. Either that or my stomach felt like it was on fire and I had no fucking idea why. It just didn't make sense to me. Stomach flu probably. But that wasn't going around this time of year. The last time I got this sick was about two years ago when I had a virus that baffled doctors. It couldn't come back, could it? No. That virus was a bitch. Had to miss school for five weeks (which is somewhat good in a way).

After debating whether or not I should straighten my hair to make it a bit more appealing, I decided I wasn't in the mood. I quickly got out of the bathroom and my mother was standing there with my black backpack and torn up ipod in hand, the green ear buds were wrapped tightly around its body. She had a smile on her face. "Here, honey. Have a good day at school. The bus is waiting, so hurry up!" Lily said, handing me my items and practically kicking me out. I waved to her and quickly jumped onto the bus of rambunctious kids. They were throwing paper airplanes, eating, and even playing pranks (how they play pranks on a school bus, I'll still never know). I looked at the back and there was my favorite seat. No one ever touched it. It was like they thought I tainted it or something. Freaks. It's not like I was mean to anyone. They just chose not to communicate or interact with me in any way. And they'll regret that once I'm the most fucking amazing bassist in the entire world and they're a bunch of hobos living in boxes on the side of the street.

I shrugged my backpack off and took my rightful place at the very end of the bus on the left side. I shoved my head plugs in and Marilyn Manson blasted some hard core rock into my ears. He actually makes my stomach feel less queasy, but it certainly didn't hold the nausea down. I felt like I would splatter my guts on the girl in front of me. My arms made their way to my stomach where they held it. Oh, shit…Come on…Don't. Do. It. YES! I swallowed it down (as gross as that sounds) and managed to keep it down. I sighed in relief and shut my eyes, the intense beat vibrating against my eardrums. How long had I been sick? It started about two days ago. What had I done? I don't eat much, so it couldn't be food poisoning (I never dare eat at school). The only remotely new thing happening was Adam shoving his dick in me, and every time he comes over to my house to "tutor" me, we smoke a couple joints and have a heated make-out session. But pot never made me sick before. Maybe it's the sex. Yea, my body is not use to it, so it's telling me to stop. Wish I could body, but Adam's in charge of our intimacy, not me.

When I got to school, Adam was waiting by my locker, arms crossed and one leg resting over the other. No sex today, please. I did not feel in the mood. And if indeed, the intercourse was making me feel this way, his dick inside me didn't feel as pleasurable as I first thought. Instead, it hurt like hell in the aftermath, and personally, I'm sick of puking my guts out every morning and barely sleeping because of these damned cramps. Girls are supposed to get cramps because of their fucking periods. I'm a DUDE. I don't get cramps. Fuck me, I am a freak. But at least I don't bleed from my cock on a monthly basis.

I sighed and looked at him. "Not today, please. I don't feel well," I said in the pitiful hopes that he would heed my request. But his crystal blue eyes looked at me in doubt. Adam seems to have an expression for every situation. It's weird because I've somehow managed to break all of them. Should I feel special about that? No…I'm probably the last person in the entire school to figure that out.

"What's wrong?" he asked, leaning up from my locker so I could open it and shove my crap in there. "Swine flu?" he asked and my eyes widened. I hadn't even _thought _about that! Which was a big surprise considering the fact my brain has been in overdrive lately out. It's like my mind is my library of diaries. I tell it every detail of every day. "If we get out of the groove, you won't know what's good for you. Now let's go," he ordered, grabbing me from the collar of my shirt and dragging me to the bathroom. But my mind couldn't stop thinking about the theory of me having a pig sickness. That's not possible (I hope).

"Are you gonna die?" Adam asked, raising an eyebrow and smirking at me. I hated loving those smirks, but it was a special trait about him that I couldn't deny feeling immensely attracted to.

"I don't think so. I've just got a really bad…Stomach ache is all. But can we skip today?" I asked, clinging to my math book and glancing at him. He glared a bit and shook his head. I knew it would be too good to be true. Why would he even consider what I had to say? It was all about him and that's it.

"No, you know what I want. Every Monday and Friday, in the bathroom where we dish it out." Then he did his same routine. Lock the door, shove me against the wall, and take off my pants, yada, yada… I really don't feel like describing it right now. I felt like complete shit. My head was beginning to pound, and the puke I had swallowed down earlier was rising up again. No. Not. NOW. FUCK!

The brunette took off his pants, I was half expecting him to put the lube in my hands so I could rub it on his cock, but I think he just wanted to get inside me, come, and get it over with. I sort of appreciated it that he wasn't dragging it out, but I sure as hell would be hopping off walls if he had agreed not to have sex at all today. This was what? Twelfth time? Yea. Six weeks ago was the first time we had sex, and then we did it two times from then on until now. And he still didn't wear a condom. And just thinking about him exploding inside my ass right now was enough to make me gag. Normally I would just take it, somewhat enjoy it, and realize that this wasn't right. But today, my head was cracking in half, and my stomach was about to explode.

When Adam started to enter, I couldn't take it anymore and my gag reflex took control, making me throw up against the wall, spraying it. He yelped and fell back. I just bent over, holding my stomach, and heaving. Damn, I don't want to die! "S-Sorry…" I mumbled, wiping my mouth and reaching my clean hand out to help him up. I would have laughed if my head wasn't splitting in two, and my stomach wasn't imploding on itself, but Adam had been scared by my sudden blunder and fell on his naked ass. He honestly looked freaked out. And not to my surprise, but he didn't take my kind gesture. Instead he hopped up and put on his pants and underwear. I wasn't even able to tell if he was wearing boxers or briefs today.

"What's up with you?" He hissed, pulling my underwear and pants up. That was off of him. Why was he helping me? That was pretty cool of him, but totally out of character. His hand was placed on my forehead and he put his other black nailed hand on his forehead to perhaps compare temperatures? Why would he do that? Since when does he care about me? I'm just his sex toy and nothing more. I mean, of course I would rather have a relationship with the person I was screwing, but I don't think that'll ever happen. "Well, you don't have a temperature, so no fever…" he stated in a matter of fact kind of voice. I groaned lightly, looking up at him. It was bizarre. Was that…WORRY on his face? Yea, I'm pretty sure. His gorgeous, transparent eyes were creased with a thin seam of anxiety. Strange, odd, all of the above.

"It's fine, Adam. I'm just gonna go to class. Sorry I couldn't satisfy your needs today," I mumbled, securing my belt and turning around, ready to walk out the door. But then he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back, kissing me tenderly on the lips. One hand was cupped gently on my chin and the other one was hanging loosely around my wrist. His blue orbs were shut in a relaxed manner. My eyes widened and I just stared in awe at his face. This wasn't the normal forceful kiss that said 'Give me what I want'; this was a sweet and meaningful kiss. This was actually the first time he was gentle with me when he just wanted sex. What was wrong with him? Not that I'm complaining. This was a nice change of heart and events.

His lip twitched and he pulled away, looking at me with intensity. When he saw the shock in my face he must have realized what he did and immediately went back into douche mode. "Ew. You taste like piss. Shit, I have to go over to your house tomorrow. You better feel better 'cause I'm gonna bang you at your house. So…So get better quickly," he ordered.

"I…I actually think the sex is making me sick, can you just not do me for a week? Maybe then my body can get better and I'll let you screw me for as long as you want next tutoring session, I promise…" I muttered. This was pathetic, wasn't it? I'm asking someone if he can quit banging me for a little bit. Sigh.

"You expect me to go without sex for a week?" Adam asked, raising a perfectly thick eyebrow. "Not only that, but you've been complaining about me wearing a condom. I don't have any diseases, and you're not gonna get pregnant, so stop being an uptight pussy about it," he said, shrugging and crossing his arms.

I breathed lightly, and looked at him; practically begging, "Adam, _please_. I don't think this is so good for my body. My mom is starting to get worried, and I don't want to actually tell her that all my tutor does is fuck me. You'll get in trouble too, ya know." Did I just threaten Adam fucking Lambert? Where was this coming from?

His eyes widened for a split second and I saw some anguish cover his eyes. "Tomorrow, I'll just teach you what you need to learn. But then on Monday I expect you to be feeling better so we can catch up. But still no condom. Do I make myself clear?" he asked, walking towards the door and unlocking it. I nodded eagerly, a small smile forming on my lips. And if my eyes deceived me, I saw a small smile grace his perfectly plump lips.

"Good. See you tomorrow." That was all he said. Then when I thought he was going to leave he looked at me with a big ass smile on his face. "You know what. I've been too nice to you. Stay right here, bitch," he ordered, quickly running out of the restroom. My eyes widened and I looked around nervously. Shit, what was he going to do? Something really bad I bet. I mean, he said he's been too nice to me, and honestly, I kind of liked his soft and kind side. Hell, I didn't even know he had a tender side until three minutes ago. But it seems his bitch half is in control most of the time.

The door opened again and there was Adam with a HUGE ass smirk on his face. His hands were behind his back and he looked at me. "So you threw up, huh?" he asked, and I nodded. No, duh, Sherlock, look at the wall. "You've got a headache too?" he questioned and to my surprise, he was right. How did he know? So I nodded again and he quickly shoved something in my hands. "Take this, girly." He laughed in a melodic tone. "I've got thousands of those in my lockers for every girl I bang, just in case, ya know? Don't want to have little Adam Lambert's running around. So I want you to take this, then by the end of school, give it to me so I know you're not pregnant, okay?" the brunette grinned from his big prank. I gulped lightly and watched him leave. "Don't forget to keep it so I know you're negative, honey!" he called, leaving and shutting the door behind him.

Well this was complete shit. I mean, I know why you would give this to a girl you just screwed, but why would he give it to me? He's such a douche bag. I don't understand his logic behind a lot of things. But then again he doesn't have much common sense to begin with so his logic must be off too.

I sighed and washed my mouth out, taking a couple of Excedrin I has stashed in my pocket. With a heavy douse of encouragement, I walked into a stall and locked it. I looked down at the pink box in my hand. Hm, that's nice. Accurate 99.9% of the time. It must be reliable, so no matter what, it'll be negative for me. It read '_Pregnancy Test: For when you're not entirely sure…'_ Who in the name of GOD comes up with these stupid slogans? I just breathed lightly and pulled my pants down, sitting on the pot. I quickly opened up the package and read the directions. First pee on the stick. Well that's easy enough. I maneuvered myself and when I peed I felt relieved. But not as good as when I threw up everything that I possible could. Still, this was a complete waste of time. Why would Adam make me do this? There's no rhyme or reason to it. Does he just like torturing me? Or is he stupid enough to honestly believe I'm pregnant. Once I was done peeing (and for some reason I really had to go), I lifted up the test and stared at it. It was blank, so I looked over the paper again.

'_Wait five minutes. PregnancyTest90123 is accurate 99.9% of the time, so the readings on the test will be correct. It has not failed to recognize a pregnancy in its ten years of being America's #1 home test.. If there is a positive sign then you're pregnant. If there is a negative sign, it was a mere false alarm.'_

Okay, so five minutes for me to see it as negative. Man, they're pretty sure of themselves about being right all the time. That must be a relief for the women that buy this shit. What was I to do in the mean time while waiting for my predicable result? Fix my hair? Sure…

So I got up from the toilet and opened the stall door to see Brad there (which is odd because I didn't hear him come in), just kind of hanging out. He was looking in the mirror to see if his eyeliner was smudged. I didn't really want him to see me with a woman's pregnancy test, so I shoved it in my pocket and walked to the sink, washing my hands. Jesus, it's like I have OCD or something.

"Adam really seems to like you, huh?" Brad asked, not facing me. I just shrugged lightly in response and leaned against the wall, waiting for the never ending five minutes of my negative results. Why was this bastard even talking to me? It's like the world's been flipped upside down in the past six weeks. "Well, he just feels sorry for you is all. Don't think you'll ever get up to our rank."

Oh, I just wanted to punch him in the fucking face. Why was he such a bitch to me? I didn't do anything to him. And before I could actually insult him, he walked out of the bathroom (but not before glaring at me). I sighed and took out the test, my eyes widening. Pssh, this must be a false sign. These things screw up all the time. This couldn't be accurate. However, they said they were correct almost 100% of the time, so why should this be any different? Because I'm a DUDE. I can't be. It's utterly impossible. But deep down my gut I knew something was up.

Because it read positive.


	5. So Many Things Can't Be Real

Hey, school's starting pretty soon, so I won't be able to update much. But don't worry because I've got half a chapter written to every story I have, so I won't leave you guys hanging! Plus, I have like...eighteen unpublished, and half done one shots...Oh, what have you done to me ADOMMY?

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Oh, god…Oh my fucking god. This has to be a mistake. I'll call the company, and then they can tell me what's happening. Yea, that sounds logical, right? That I just fucking call them and they tell me this is just one huge ass mistake. That'll calm me down. I mean, I am a MAN for Christ's sakes, and it's a WOMAN'S job to pop out the kids, not a dude's. I mean, that's just illogical. It's impossible. It's indescribable. Stop it Tommy Joe. You're freaking out over nothing. A man being pregnant is about as believable as a person having sex with a goat and that goat popping out human-goat babies. Yea, human-goat babies. Oh SHIT! Wasn't there a story on the news about that? About a man who married a goat? No, my mom just…

_SHUT UP! Get a grip. Just look at the fucking number, dial it and get it OVER with. Do you really think putting scenarios in your head will abort this fucking kid? Do you? No, so just call them, let them tell you that it's a huge ass mistake and break the pregnancy test in half. When Adam asked what happened to it, you just say you threw it away by accident. Do I make myself clear Tommy Joe? _

For once, I'm happy you're talking to me about something, oh clever mind of mine. So, I followed the rational part of my brain and dialed the phone number. Ring. Ring. Ring- HOW MANY FUCKING RINGS DOES IT TAKE TO CALL PREGNANCY PEOPLE-?

"Hello. Have you any complications with your pregnancy test?" It sounded like a kind woman's voice on the phone, but I didn't care if I was talking to the fucking queen of England. This was MY time to be worried.

"Hi. I just…" I trailed off when I began to put the pieces together of what I was actually going to tell this woman.

_Tommy, you can't tell her you took it! First of all, she'll ask why you took it in the first place. Second of all, if you tell her that it came out positive, she'll think you're a freak, hang up and probably call the authorities on your sorry ass. Remember, you're a man that's questionably pregnant. Not many people are going to be on your side about this. So think of an alternative story to tell this woman, okay? _

"I mean…My _girlfriend_ just took your pregnancy test, but she can't have kids because her tubes got tied. But she's been having morning sickness and has had immense headaches. But it's impossible for her to get pregnant, right?" I asked, biting on my shiny, chipped gray nails. They were already mutilated from the last six weeks. All the sex has been pleasurable hell (if that makes sense), but I was still nervous about Lily finding out. Until last week, my main problem was just not biting my cuticles to the point where they bleed profusely. But now I think I have bigger problems than a manicure 911. Like, I don't know…Have a fucking kid inside me. Oh, and if you haven't already guessed, I _love_ the word fuck. Just the way it slips from your tongue. No, Tommy. Get a grip…

"Sir, if our tests read that she was pregnant and she has all the symptoms to early pregnancy…" OH GOD. I have all the issues I just described to her about my fake girlfriend. No, no…It's just not fucking possible. I just have swine flu. I never thought that I would rather have the disease that's killing hundreds of people than be fucking pregnant. It's selfish, I know. "…then she's more than likely pregnant. We've never received any information from one of our customers where a test has failed. So either the surgery went wrong, or your girlfriend is reading it incorrectly. But either way I think you're going to be a daddy…" Mommy is more like it. If I were to have this kid and Adam and I were in a relationship, I sure as hell could not see him taking on the mommy role. I'd be the one being butt fucked upside down and changing diapers. "…Congratulations. Good bye." Then she hung up. It began to buzz in my ear. I took in a sharp breath and put my phone back in my pocket, looking in the mirror at my reflection, trying to process the information I had just received and was forced to believe.

I didn't want her to hang up. I wanted to punch her in the face and tell her she was dead, fucking wrong. Even if the story I told her was a complete lie, the symptoms and various events in that lie were true. I had been throwing up lately; I was having pounding migraines, and the pregnancy test read positive. But I'm a guy. So this isn't possible. I still didn't want to actually think that…

_Yea, we all know you're a dude Tommy. No need to keep rubbing it in our faces. Just face it. New discoveries are being observed every day, and you're just going to be another experiment. The first pregnant man. Can't you imagine it being on headlines? You'll be the biggest freak since the bearded lady. And guess what. It's ADAM LAMBERT'S kid. But for all we know, his semen could have something to do with this uncalled pregnancy. For all we know, he could have tainted sperm. You just don't know. But the big question is: are you going to tell him?_

N-No. I can't tell him. He's fucking Adam Lambert. I can't honestly just go up to him and say, 'Hey, about the first time you kind of raped me, but not really because you put lube on -anyway…I'm pregnant with your kid. Don't give me that face; I'm in an emotional state right now! I'm pregnant with your child Mr. Lambert, and I expect you to be the father!' No, that won't work. He'd laugh at me and tell me I was insane. Then he would use the truth I had just told him against me and kill me. I can't be pregnant.

_There's no point in being in denial anymore. Remember when your mother sat you down and told you what happened when you were born? You remember don't you? That you were a human with both body parts that defined people's genders? That's why everyone doesn't like you and thinks you're a freak. _

_Listen, Ratliff. You're technically a boy, but you've got certain chick parts enabling you to have kids. So you either except it, get it aborted, or shut the fuck up and tell him. It's not like you can just have the kid and not tell him. That's virtually impossible. It is his kid by the way. You don't have to tell anyone else. Not even your mother. _

How do I _not _tell my mom? She's the one that did this to me (not the getting me pregnant part, but the part that even made this shitty situation possible). She did drink a lot when she was pregnant with me, and all the consumption of alcohol must have messed up my organs! So, I'm not planning on giving my mother the 'Best Mommy of the Year Award'. FUCK ME! I CAN'T BE PREGNANT! THIS ISN'T LOGICAL!

Nausea suddenly over came me and I ran to the sink and threw up. Fuck. Me. It felt like my throat was upchucking blades. But I knew I couldn't just sit here and not do anything about it. I'll get to class, avoid Adam on my way out, and pretend I'm sick for the next tutoring session. When Monday comes, then I'm screwed. That or I'll just think of the best master plan ever.

And with that I quickly got my math book, looked at the pregnancy test one last time and threw it away. I gulped lightly and went on with the rest of the day, dreading when the dismissal bell rang.

* * *

"Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me…" I whispered lightly as I sped walked to the doors. Freedom, freedom! Just a little bit more until I'm out of this hellhole, I can go home and do all the research I have to do to get a hold of this situation, and avoid Adam for as long as possible. It's just a little more. Five more steps…four more…three more-

"Yo, Thomas!" Oh, god. It was that same honey voice that dripped with melody and ended on such a phenomenal high-pitched tone. Even when he called me by my dreaded birth name, I still loved hearing it leak out of his plump and contagiously gorgeous lips. "I wanna see it!" he called, running up to me, his long, slick legs taking wide strides towards my crippled body. Okay, so it wasn't really crippled, it was just in a state of not good. I was however, carrying a live person inside me…Oh, god. Now that I say it like that it's completely and utterly terrifying. I have a PERSON inside of my STOMACH. Wait, do they grow inside the stomach? Or is there a specific area for the thing? Shit, I need to read some books and know what I'm in for. But with this guy running up to me, I don't think he'll let me off that easily.

"Where's the test?" the practical demon angel asked, raising that fucking perfect eyebrow. He was currently leaning against the wall, arms crossed and blowing some of his troublesome raven-black bangs out of the way. There were a few mingling students here and there, but for the most part they had scattered to their homes. "I'm waiting."

It didn't even occur to me that I was dozing off. I was so freaking tired. I don't even remember the last time I actually got more than five hours of sleep. "I-I, threw it away by accident…" I whispered, looking to the side. I was literally, the worst liar on the face of the fucking planet. My eyes seemed to coat with guilt and my voice quivered. My mother, of course, used this to her advantage, so I could rarely lie to her. It was just one of my many flaws. I sucked at it and everyone knew it. Even Adam.

"Well, that's a flat out lie. So either give me the test or your stomach's gonna have a black and blue bruise soon." Adam threatened, balling his left hand into a fist. He had several glistening (and gaudy) rings on his index, thumb, and middle finger. How could I not have known he was gay before? Between all the make-up, hair style, and fashion sense, he was the GAY GOD.

"NO!" And I subconsciously (and much too obviously) grabbed my stomach in a protective way, glancing at him only slightly. Hey, if I've got a kid, I've got that "motherly instinct", right? "I-I mean…" I stuttered; sweat beginning to pour down my face and fresh amount of throw up making its way up to my throat. This sucked. Now I really felt bad for women and the disadvantages of being pregnant. Screw me.

It seemed like he knew I was about to throw up (or be sick) because his eyes widened and in a flash he was by my side patting my back slightly. "Dude, you look green. Are you gonna-" And for the second time today, I threw up by Adam. But this time on his perfectly leathered pants. And fuck if I knew what shit I had just barfed up on his pants! It was just green and blotchy and completely gross. But all I knew was that I was going to get a major ass beating for this.

I clenched my eyes shut, waiting for him to hit me for messing up his pants. But instead I was being lifted up and leaning against someone's hard chest. I slowly opened them to see I was being carried by Adam Lambert (bridal style, I mind you) out of the school. I gasped lightly and a deep blush penetrated my skin. What was he doing? If someone were to see him, he'd be the laughing stock of the school! I'm the loser at the bottom on the food chain, and he's the fucking shark. Why is he suddenly being so nice to me? This didn't make sense. I would think about six weeks ago if I were to barf on his pants, he would have sown my mouth shut so I would have to eat from my ass. "W-What are you doing?" I asked, genuinely freaked out by the sudden change of events. Not that I didn't enjoy it, it's just weird is all.

"What the hell does it look like I'm doing? You're as sick as a cow. I'm taking you home. Any other lame and obvious questions you want me to answer, Tommy?" he asked, looking down at me and raising an eyebrow. Just the way the sun radiated off his skin made me wonder if someone as gorgeous as him could possibly exist. And I have no idea why I'm giving him so much credit. He's such a fucking bastard to me. Or was a bastard. Actually, I honestly don't know anymore.

The cool wind blowing against my hot face helped my blush tone down some, but I could tell it was still there was very palpable. "I-I'm just confused is all. I don't know why you're being so nice to me…" I murmured, fiddling with my fingers and shutting my eyes half way. This was freaky. But I was too tired and sick to go any deeper into the conversation. Unless of course he deepened it for me.

"Shut up. It's not like it's a bad thing that I'm doing this, _right_?" he asked, glancing down at me with his perfectly transparent eyes. His eyes didn't seem to just be orbs on his face. They were much more demanding, and a lot more powerful than mine.

"Unless you're planning on banging me when we get to my house…" I mumbled, glaring lightly at the sidewalk that passed us as his leopard patterns boots clicked on the ground. I heard him sigh slightly (causing his coffee flavored breath to attack my face) and looked up at his pale and smooth face. "What?" I nearly hissed.

"Just I wish…I don't know. That we could…Or I could, maybe…" Adam sighed deeply again, his eyes showing great fight within them. What was wrong with him? I rarely ever see him nervous. "We could…I don't know…" he muttered, his hands tightening around my small body. And if I wasn't mistaken, they felt a bit clammy. Oh, this was too perfect. Could I really be making the great and unstoppable Adam Lambert nervous? Might as well drag this out and make his life utter hell. He has however, made me life in high school to be complete chaos. Oh, and did I mention he got me pregnant?

"No, Adam. Tell me…" I cooed in my sweetest and most flirtatious voice, allowing my long bangs to hang over my left eye, so nothing but my lips and big brown eye could look up at him with a puppy dog expression. "I'm sure it's not that bad. I mean, you're the one always beating me up and everything. So you shouldn't be cared to tell your victim what's wrong, right?" I questioned, going for a guilty trip. And it seemed to be working (insert evil laugh here).

His bottom lip seemed to exert out in a pout face and his eyes gazed down to the ground again. "No, I don't mean anything like that. I mean, I know I always pick on you and stuff, but…" He bit his lip and my heart just about burst right there. Oh. My. God. He looked completely and utterly adorable. And to top if all off, I could here his own heart pounding in his chest. It was like music to my ears to actually be this close to his vulnerable and fragile frame. "I don't know. I think you're…"

"Tommy! Baby!" Now that. That was my mother's voice. I wish she hadn't interrupted us because Adam was about to say something important. Something that could possibly put this entire 'I'm only here to fuck you' thing behind us and turn it into a blossoming relationship. But no. My mother had to ruin it with her worries! "Baby, what's wrong?" she asked, looking at me in the arms of a beautiful God.

"He's just not feeling well, Mrs. Ratliff. So I carried him home. I hope that's not a problem." Wow, he's _polite. _Now there's a word I never thought I'd being saying towards someone like Adam. But lately, he's been surprising me a lot.

"Not at all. Thank you for being so concerned. I'll see you tomorrow, Adam!" Lily said, smiling at him as he set me down. My stomach lurked, but I think I didn't have anything left in my stomach (except for a possible kid) to throw up, to be honest.

"Well…See you Tommy. Hope you feel better," the taller male said, playfully and gently punching me in the shoulder and practically sprinting off. My eyes lingered at him for awhile.

"_I think you're…"_

Shit, I really wished he had finished his sentence…


	6. Can't Be Bothered With Your Desires

I groaned, clenching my stomach and rolling to my side, panting lightly. I was going to puke again, I knew it. But I was wrong. I didn't throw up. Instead I dry heaved onto my pillow. And we all know that's a thousand times worse then actually throwing up. I wanted to die. This pounding migraine was doing wonders for the false nausea pulsating in my stomach. Fuck me. Wasn't Adam coming over today? Yea, he was going to tutor me, that's just freaking great. And he probably wasn't even going to keep his promise of not fucking me. He was such a horny sex beast. A fucking slut. Whore. Skank. Hoe. I don't even think he evaluates situations with his brain. Just his fucking penis. That fucking douche bag. If he even lays a finger on me, I swear to god I'll rip his tiny dick off and throw it to a group of flesh eating piranhas. Then I'll rip off his pretty boy face and light it on fire. HE'S SUCH A FUCKING BITCH.

That's not true. He was kind to me yesterday. Yes, I remember. He picked me up and carried me to my house because I wasn't feeling well. He said that I was sick and shouldn't be walking home. He was going to say something special to me, but my mother interrupted him. I wonder how his sentence was going to end. God, he was really nice. Not only that but completely gorgeous and caring. He said that he wouldn't screw me this tutoring session because I'm sick. Such a sweetheart.

Wait, hold the fucking phone. Is this a mood swing I'm experiencing? At one point Adam's the devil, now he's fucking God? Oh, HELL no. I groaned, grabbing my head and stumbling to the bathroom to take a shower. Fuck, I needed to get a grip. This is just some really bad dream after taking too much medicine for something completely random. Or it's the pot speaking. Hopefully that. Yea, pot can do some crazy shit to you. But I knew I was fucking pregnant and this was the end of my life. Wasn't that the great thing about being gay? You never have to worry about popping out kids? Just adopt or get a surrogate mother to bare your child…? Whatever, my head hurts and I just want hop into the shower.

My eyes gazed into the mirror and once again, I didn't like what I saw. Palpable bags were clear under my brown eyes. I hadn't been sleeping much because I was always getting up for a midnight snack. Either something sweet (chocolate milk was my craving at the moment) or something salty. Mm, salt Lay's chips. That sounds so good right now. My hair didn't fair much better. I don't think I've taken a shower in like, two weeks. So it was a greasy mess. Listen, don't say that's gross. I haven't had much time on my hands since discovering the impossible. It's not my fault I was the spawn of Satan that was blessed with this curse. Man.

I stripped out of my sweaty and old clothes and slowly entered the pounding shower, groaning in pleasure. Oh, this felt really good. So good in fact. My muscles became soothed, and I didn't feel the need to throw up anymore. It was like a simple shower could make all the bad things go away. I moaned lightly as the cold water hit my flaming skin. But I didn't know why I was so hot. I felt like the sun was pounding in through my shower curtain. I wouldn't be surprised if my flesh began to sizzle. Did I have a fever? I read on the internet that you don't get a fever from pregnancy, but your body temperature rises and falls as it pleases. Fucking fantastic.

With a frown, my eyes averted to my stomach where it remained the same size. Pretty skinny, but it's been what? About six weeks? Fuck, do I need to get a fucking ultra sound? Shit, I really hope not. I don't think I can just go up to a doctor and be like, 'Bitch, give me an ultra sound for my growing baby!' Yea, that won't work. Whatever, I'll figure it out later. I tried not to think about it much as I shampooed, conditioned, and rinsed my blond and black hair off with my favorite coconut flavored condiments. Fuck it. I enjoy prognosticating. Well, it's not that I enjoy it, but it's an old habit that is pretty hard to break. And I'm sure it'll suck in this situation.

There was a knock at the door (making me jump slightly. I was in a dream land and that fucking noise broke me back to reality) and my mother's soft voice drifted into my ear. "Sweetie, Adam's here early. He wanted to know if you were okay. So once you get out, you can start. I'm going shopping and to the salon. I'll be back in a couple hours. Bye, honey." I heard the click of her boots and she was gone. Okay…So once she leaves I'll be home alone with Adam. That's great. Not.

Man, he's already here? Thanks a lot, Mr. Lambert. You're making my life a lot easier. I'm being sarcastic by the way. He's making everything more difficult if anything. With my mother gone, he'll just have more motivation to plow me because we can be as loud as possible. Isn't Lily paying him? Yea, for helping me learn school stuff. So if I'm still getting F's after him helping me, she'll probably fire him. Is that a good thing? Man, maybe we should be learning math instead of learning about each others' bodies…

Suddenly the door opened and my eyes whipped to the open door to see Adam Lambert smirking his ass off. His eyes were burning into my flesh. I yelped and tried covering myself up, but I ended up just grabbing the clear curtain (don't ask me why it's clear. Lily has a fetish with transparent objects), tripping causing the shower curtain to snap off from the hinges and both myself and the clear plastic fell forward. Ended up I was on the ground with my ass in the air and groaning. Suddenly I felt my left cheek stinging. Great. Not only does he cause me pain, he spanks my fucking ass. My face was burning from my intense blush and I groaned in pain.

"Nice ass. Damn, you're one sexy loser," he cooed, grabbing my hair and pulling my head back, attacking my lips. He was on one knee so he was at my height (since I was still on the ground). His tongue grazed against my lower lip, waiting for access, but I didn't grant it to him. This motherfucker got me pregnant. The last thing I wanted to do was grant him a wish (even though it would make my life a hell of a lot easier to just go with his orders). His eyes crossed mine and I shivered from his cold stare. Fuck. He pulled away and held his hand out for me to take. I blushed lightly and took it, quickly grabbing a towel and covering my waist. "Oh, come on. I'm already seen it all…" he mused, shutting the door and locking it. "No need to be ashamed or hide it. You're pretty big."

"Haven't you ever heard of privacy?" I mumbled, avoiding his penetrating gaze. Then he laughed his same melodic laugh, making me blush even more.

"I have, but I'm not good at giving it. But I do give a lot of things good," he mused, smirking and I couldn't help but look at him.

His eyes seemed to be covered in lust and want. Nothing more. And honestly, I still didn't feel like having sex. I read online (yesterday when I came home, I immediately went on the computer to look up pregnancy and all that shit. And after reading it all, I knew I was defiantly pregnant) that you shouldn't have sex for the first three months or else it could harm the baby. And I was only about a month in, so that can't be good. "I'm gonna fuck you until you're screaming my name, Babyboy…" he cooed, grabbing my hair and yanking me back. I involuntarily moaned and glared at him. As much as I didn't want to enjoy his kinky nature, I couldn't help it.

Wait, did he just call me "Babyboy"? Now he's giving me nicknames? Where on earth did that come from? Is that like a sex name or something? Like kitten or puppy? No, I got fucking Babyboy. I mean, sure it had somewhat of a nice ring to it, but that's all. Nothing too special. Why couldn't it have been something more manly, or at least less demeaning. Dude. BABYBOY?

"I'm still not feeling well!" I shouted, pushing him, but he seemed to like being a sexual deviant and growled, attacking my neck and finding my weak spot. I moaned, feeling myself get hard beneath his knee. His teeth bit into my flesh and he sucked, causing my heaving chest to meld into his. Fuck me. I can't do this. Not only do I want to not fuck right now, but I can't afford to like…I don't know. Shit, I'm so messed up. "GET OFF!" I yelled, lifting my hands up to his chest and pushing him. But he was bigger than me in both height and weight. He'll over power me, and we both knew it.

Adams' eyes went wild and he glared. "Fuck's wrong with you?" he asked, kneeing my groin and rubbing it rapidly. I moaned, arching my head back and panting lightly into the air. "You love it don't you? You want to screw me? Plow me? Don't you, I know you do…" What the hell was he talking about? I don't want any of that! He was here to teach me math, or whatever, not shove his dick in my ass. It didn't even sound appealing at this point. But my body stated otherwise. It was just yearning for more.

"N-No sex…" I whimpered, trailing my hands to his neck where I pushed him forward, grasping his lips within mine. I was thinking that maybe if I put him in a heated make-out session he would just forget about sex. I knew it was hopeful thinking, but at this point, what other choice do I have? But then in the back of my brain, I was thinking, maybe a tongue to tongue make-out session will get him even hornier and begging for more than just my mouth. So, I pulled away and tried to look serious, even though I was so turned on right now. With his knee against my groin, I could see my vision getting fuzzy with ecstasy.

"A-Adam, I need to tell you something…" I moaned into his hair, gripping his shoulders tightly as his hand slipped under the towel (my only cover up). His fingers curled around my throbbing member and I gasped, biting his neck and panting lightly. He moaned and licked my cheek, sucking on it before trailing butterfly kissed down to my collar bone where his tongue kind of ran around on my chest, inhaling my nipple.

"What's up, Babyboy?" he asked against my hard nipple, rubbing his professional hand back and forth, back and forth. It felt like complete heaven. Shit, this felt good. I'd let him give me a blow job, and hell I'd give him one, just no sex. Anything will do except one dick up an ass. "Tell me. You can tell me anything," he clarified, kissing my lips and pumping me. His hips ground into mine, and I could feel his own erection against my leg.

"Do you promise to listen to me not matter what comes out of my m-mouth?" I asked, closing my eyes and taking in deep breathes. His mouth was so expertise about this entire sucking, licking and kissing thing. Either he practices a lot, or he was a goddamn natural at it. Either way, it felt more than good. I was in fucking ecstatic right now.

"Stop stalling and tell me…" he murmured, trailing one hand up to my hair and tugging on it, trying to get me off and come faster. I didn't come right then, but I was defiantly getting off and moaning his name (which he seemed to like a lot).

"Y-You're not going to believe me when I tell you. You'll think I'm lying. A-And…Adaaamm…" I moaned, clenching my eyes shut and gnawing on my bottom lip. Shit, I was gonna come, I was gonna-

And right over his hand I exploded from his jerking hand. He grinned at me and lifted his hand back up, licking each of his fingers individually of the white substance that covered them. "You taste nicely. My little sex toy knows exactly what I want." And with that, he turned me around (slamming me against the wall I mind you), ridding me of my towel and I could hear him fussing with his belt. Shit, no. Be strong Tommy Joe. Be strong.

"A-Adam! We can't have sex!" I yelled, trying to keep my body from convulsing. Hey, I can't help it. He makes me _want _to orgasm. I mean, shit. Have you _seen _Adam Lambert? He's the most sexy, badass motherfucker alive and if he were about to fuck you, I know you would want to orgasm. But I needed to keep my fit under control. Not only for me, but for a fucking _person _inside of me. "Shit, just stop and listen to me!"

His hand was pushing my head into the wall and I was utterly incapable of removing him with physical force, so it would have to be verbal if anything. Even though I knew it wouldn't make a difference to him either way. He was in dominance role, and it was going to remain that way.

"What?" Adam yelled, pinning my arms above my head and rubbing his covered erection on my opening. Shit, do I really tell him? I can't just tell him that I'm pregnant. That'll just be plan weird. I know I'd be freaked out, and Adam is gonna shun me, I just know it. But what other choice do I have? He's the father…Mother…Well, whatever, I have to tell him something! I can't just leave him hanging in hopes that at the nine months period of this fucking pregnancy he'll just be like, 'Oh, what's that? You're pregnant! Jubilation!' With a huge grin on his face. No, I can't.

"I'm…" I gulped and I heard him growl against me skin. "I'm…going to tell everyone that you're fucking me. Then when everyone in the school knows you're gay and screwing a loser, your reputation as the king of the school will go down the drain faster then you can lube up your own dick right now!" I yelled, pushing myself from the wall with all the strength I could muster up, knocking him down to the ground. I stepped over him and ran to my room. I quickly got on a pair of boxers, but that was all I could get dressed in because I was tackled onto my bed with a panting Adam straddling me. He looked hot, boy will I tell you. And just from looking at him in this angle, I was getting hard again.

His eyelids were lightly coated with shimmer and navy blue eye shadow in a smoky kind of way. His lips looked as if they had lip gloss, and now that I think about it, when he kissed me, he tasted like cherries. His hair wasn't gelled back. It kind of looked like a black bed head. And it was nice, cool, relaxing. It was just fucking sexy. His shirt was a simple red Bowie (I love Bowie, so does he? Man, he's got good taste in music), and his freckled arms were exposed. It wasn't until now that I realized he was a ginger by heart. Oh, that would make for some great ass taunting later on. And last but not least, his legs were covered in brown genuine leather skinny jeans with his all famous leopard boots. Shit, he was gorgeous.

"Just…Tommy. I'm…" His eyes stared deeply into mine, but then he looked away, blushing. Oh, this was just too good. Was I making him nervous? The all mighty Adam Lambert nervous? Priceless…But didn't this happen yesterday when he was attempting to tell me something? "I think you're…" He gulped, pinning my arms above my head on my bed. His legs were straddled against my waist. Oh, so he was going to finish his sentence from yesterday? _I don't know. I think you're…_ I've been wondering what he was going to say until my mother inputted. "I think you're…Special…" he murmured lightly, bending his head down and burying it into the crook of my neck as if trying to escape this awkward situation.

I gasped lightly, eyes widening and stiffening from anxiousness. Did he just say I was special? No, I must have heard him wrong. That can't be right. Adam couldn't have said I was special. No. He's treated like crap for like, ever. And suddenly I'm special towards him? Someone smart would automatically think that this was a trap of meaningless, hope and desire but I really liked hearing him say that. Fuck me. And I would have loved to hear him say it a thousand more times.

"I'm pregnant." I bit my tongue after I said that because he raised his head and looked at me like I was insane with a thick black eyebrow raised.

"_What?"_


	7. You Can't Just Like Me For Me

"Er…I mean to say that I'm just not feeling well!" I clarified, blushing furiously, trying to keep my hyperventilation under control. Shit, did I really just put it that bluntly! Damnitt, Tommy Joe. You can't just tell some person who banged you (that's a male) you're pregnant (when you too, are a male). Or at least allow him to brace himself before putting all this on his shoulders for god sakes! Especially _this _kind of guy. The guy that you're prone to hate because he's been an ever living jerk to you for as long as you can remember. You're not even supposed to be pregnant, and to go along with that, not pregnant with _Adam Lambert's _kid!

"No…You said you were _pregnant_?" he yelled, eyes widening and jumping up from my bed, grabbing his hair and tugging on it. "Oh, shit, oh shit! This is _not _good! Not fucking good at all! Fuck me, why didn't I wear a condom?" Adam shouted, clearly freaking out.

Wait, why was he freaking out like _that? _Like he had gotten a chick pregnant and this was all so normal? Well, not normal, but why wasn't he calling me a freak or saying I'm lying? That was my first guess at his action. He's acting like he just got some regular girl pregnant and he doesn't want his mom or dad to find out. What the fuck? You'd think that he'd punch me or something. Not start going all haywire on me.

"How can you act all so nonchalant about this? I'm a _male _telling you I'm _pregnant_. Aren't you going to like freak out because this totally defies the laws of male anatomy?" I asked, getting up from my bed and glaring at him. Either he's putting on a big and dramatic show to make me seem like an idiot, or he really is worried. But why in the name of hell would he be worried…Unless, he knew that this was possible!

"NO!" Adam whined, looking at me with big eyes. "Fuck. My sperm has this weird genetic alteration in it that measure out any female organs inside someone! That's why I always wear a condom with chicks! But that must mean you have some kind of female organ inside you making you capable to baring kids. That means my fucking sperm saw that and took the opportunity to like enter it or something! I don't wear condoms when boning guys!" he yelled, grabbing my shoulders and slamming me against the wall. "Fuck, Tommy…" He groaned in dismay and buried his head into my neck (and I now realized that he does it when he's embarrassed or just pained worry; it would be cute if I too weren't trying to figure out this too big dilemma).

I gasped, my eyes narrowing into slits. "Wait…So you _knew _that this could happen if there was any kind of uterus or egg, and you fucking didn't wear a condom? You did this to me? Shit, Adam!" I screamed, pushing him away from me and glaring. "Because of you, I'm going to be the biggest fucking freak in the entire world. This isn't supposed to be happening!" I shouted. I growled lightly, burning my eyes into the floor while Adam stood there like a giant idiot.

Fuck me! He knew about all this. His sperm is like, fucking tainted or something? I shouldn't _have _to go through this. And it's his fault. It's not my fault that I have these "female organs". I mean, shit. If he knew that it was even remotely possible, you would think that he would wear a condom just in case. Ever heard of the saying 'Better Safe then Sorry', Adam. Fuck no! "You're going to fucking help me out of this situation, asshole!" I snarled. I was pissed. Really, really pissed.

"W-What? No, I can't! You can't actually expect me to take you to Lamaze classes, and tell you to breathe in and out, baby. Yea you're doing a good job. Just a few more times TOMMY. I wasn't expecting my wife's name to be fucking TOMMY!" he yelled, shaking. Okay, so he was really scared about this, but still. Fuck. This isn't right. And he didn't really just tell me that he wasn't going to help me out in this situation did he? HELL NO. He got me into this mess, and he was going to help me get out of it! I mean, in another nine months we'll get out of it, right? We'll like put the kid up for adoption or something. Fuuuuuckkkk…

"I'm not asking you to go to that extreme…Just I don't know…" I whispered, blushing deep and looking at the ground. What were we suppose to do? Oh, fuck, I need smoke. That'll help. That calms everything down and makes me breath slower. And breathing slow is better for the baby, right? Oh, hell I don't care if it'll kill it (yes I do, geeze), but I really need to just fucking…_inhale _something right now! "Go downstairs and get me some water…" I hissed and he quickly obeyed, rushing down the stairs. I smirked. So he did feel bad? Perhaps I could use this to my advantage. But not too badly because once this is over and done with he'll be back in his old shell.

I sneered a little more and put some of the weed into a pipe and lit it, inhaling some of its sweet nectar and sitting on my bed. Oh, fuck, that felt really good. It soothes the soul. And frankly, that's exactly what I need right now. Soothing of the soul. I shut my eyes, lying back on my bed and just smoking. In and out, in and out-

"NO! Tommy! You can't smoke that! Fuck only knows what'll do to the kid!" Adam screamed, snatching my pipe away from me and handing me the water. My red eyes tore open and I growled. He stood his ground and looked serious, throwing the weed out and putting my pipe away. "No! I don't want my kid to pop out mentally disabled!" I gasped and glared even more, grasping the water bottle and chugging it down, allowing the sooth liquid to moisten my dry throat. What the hell crawled up his ass and died?

"Weed doesn't hurt the kid, fucker…" I mumbled, closing my eyes and feeling the side of the bed lower lightly as another body lay next to me.

"Don't be mad…I'm…I'm sorry…" I glanced at him and saw his head was buried into the pillow. Oh, fuck that was really cute. Now I know it's true. When he's embarrassed or nervous he buries his head into something. That's so adorable…Oh, shit. What's this sudden urge coming over me? No Tommy Joe! Don't consult him in his time of need. This is your time of need, not his. No, no- FUCK.

But my body (and dick) moved on their own and before I knew it I had wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him into me. He stiffened a bit but then sighed; burying his head into my neck like that was his safe place. And as much as I hated to admit it, I was happy it was his "safe place". He mumbled something in incoherent and when I asked him what he said he looked up at me with those big blue eyes. "Tommy, what the fuck are we gonna do?" he whispered, his eyes lowering so they looked spaced out; like he was in deep thought trying to figure out a solution.

"I don't know. I'm still getting over the fact that you actually believed me when I said it. I was almost positive you were gonna shun me or tell me I was crazy…I mean, I am a male telling you I'm pregnant after all," I claimed shrugging and sighing a bit leaning my head against his and shutting my eyes. His hair smelt like peaches. It was a nice inhalation. I enjoyed it and it made me feel calm.

"I know. But your mother told the office of the school your little hermaphrodite situation, so when I found out your were pregnant it's a lot more believable then like, Drake or Brad coming out and telling me…" he said, closing his eyes, but then looking at me when I tensed.

"What? You read my permanent record. Fuck why?" I asked, a little angry. Isn't that an invasion of personal privacy? Why was he going through my stuff in the first place? Fucking weirdo. He blushed and once again buried his face into my neck.

"I wanted to know more about you…" It was barely audible, but I could hear it, then he pulled away and stared at me intently. "Tommy, I really like you. I know I'm all mean to you and stuff, but I don't know. You're different, and I like that about you. When your mother asked me to come and tutor I was so thrilled. I wanted to be nice to you and all, but I got nervous and was mean to you again. And like, our first time in the bathroom, I knew it was wrong and I shouldn't be doing it, but fuck. I just wanted you!" He practically shouted, but then all the blood rose into his face and he groaned, grabbing the pillow and screaming into it.

I just froze. Did he…No, I must be high or something. This can't be right, right? He's hated me guts from day one (for no reason, I might add), but he can't suddenly like me right? This is just too weird. It's like this entire tutoring thing has made my life a complete roller-coaster. I mean, fuck. Before this, I was just the rebel kid with no friends and my life was consistently bland, and now, I'm probably the first pregnant male ever, and the father just confessed his suppressed feelings towards me. What. The. Fuck?

"Shit, I knew I shouldn't have said anything. Screw this, I'm going!" Adam suddenly yelled, jumping up from the bed and grabbing his coat. He was about to leave when I grabbed his wrist and pulled him back, allowing our lips to lock in place.

I knew this was as weird as shit, but come on. When he's about to walk out the door, I couldn't help but feel compelled to just feel him, have his lips against mine. Sure, we've kissed a lot before, but it was always so demanding and forceful. Only once have we kissed with passion, or…Love. That word is so weird. Of course I don't feel it towards Adam or anything, but whatever. I just wanted to feel loved. Be loved. And kiss with love. And I think I accomplished that quite well with him. Right here. Right now.

He groaned lightly, dropping his coat and tangling his fingers in my hair, trailing his tongue along my lower lips. A soft moan erupted from my throat as I closed my eyes, cupping his face in my hands and opening wide. He smiled a bit, closing his eyes too and grazing against me teeth and the roof of my mouth. I leaned against him, pushing him against the wall and curiously nudged his tongue with mine. He seemed to like that (which was surprising considering the fact that he always wants to be in control) and pushed back. We wrestled for a bit, breathing heavily through our noses until both of us needed to pant. We pulled away and he looked at me. Innocently. Probably the most innocently I've ever seen him.

This wasn't Dickhole Adam Lambert. This wasn't I'm Gonna Screw You Right Now Adam Lambert. This was Innocent Adam Lambert. The one that I've always imagined he'd be like. Hoped for. Of course I liked him for his looks (he was gorgeous), but that was all I could actually base him off of. He was a jerk to me, and I didn't know anything about him. So I guess I've only liked him for his appearance, which is as wrong as hell, but maybe. Just maybe, I'll get to know him a little more.

"I like you too…" I murmured lightly, blushing deeply. His left eyebrow twitched (which I love so much) and kissed my cheek. His breath was hot against my flesh, making me shiver in delight. This was just too fucking much.

"Good. Then I guess the only thing left to do is…" he mumbled that, his eyes trailing down to my stomach where I blushed intently. "Like, I don't know. It's kind of weird. I mean…Are you sure?" he asked, looking back up at me and I nodded. As sure as could possibly be. Of course I'm still in denial (you would be too), but I know I am. Fuck, I'm pregnant.

"I took like three more pregnancy tests after the one you gave me, and I looked it up online. I'm pretty sure. Well, ninety-nine percent positive." I shrugged and looked at him. "You're not made, are you?" That would suck. I mean, of course he's not going to go to the extreme to help me, but a bit of support would be nice, you know? I'm not entirely sure if I want to tell anyone else, even my mother. What would she think if I told her? I know she wouldn't shun me or anything, but she sure as hell wouldn't believe me. Then by months nine when I need to go to the hospital, she'll faint, that's for sure…

He smiled, laughing a little. "Course not. It is my fault for not wearing a condom. So, I mean…I guess that means…like….I don't know…It's kind of weird to say I'm actually going to be a dad…" That seemed to roll of his tongue and his eyes gazed back down to my flat stomach.

"Well, you could be the mom," I said, smirking lightly and he rolled his eyes.

"Fuck no. Just cause I said I liked you doesn't mean I'm gonna be all nice to you. I'll help you raise the kid and everything, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna start taking shit from you. So keep your smart ass comments to yourself. If your mom asked, we learned about math. Pi is equal to 3.14, remember that, okay Tommy? See ya. And don't smoke weed. If my kid comes out deformed, I'm gonna kill you." And that's all he said before slamming the door of my room and walking out. Bipolar bitch.

My heart dropped. Dropped all the way to fucking Satan. Well, that's it. He had his chance and he killed it. He was so nice, so sweet to me and then he goes back to his fucking old way. I guess it's just like my mom says. Once he (or she in her case), abuses you, they'll do it again, so it's best to just leave it be. I knew that I shouldn't have told him. I should have fucking aborted this kid. And none of this would have happened. My heart wouldn't be shattered and I wouldn't feel like an idiot.

Well, fuck him. I'm over being nice to him or trying to obtain any kid of relationship with Adam Lambert. It's fucking over with that piece of shit. And to think I would have tried to have a potential relationship with _it. _Haha, that's long gone, fucker.

"FUCK YOU!" I screamed, kicking the wall. So angry. I was so angry. How could he even say that to me? That he's not going to be nice to me even though he just admitted he like me for me. And I couldn't even finished my thought process because (and much to my surprise), my door opened up again and Adam was staring at me.

"What?" he asked. His hair hung over his bangs and his blue eyes were wide with curiosity and worry. Oh god he was cute. But my rage was more demanding than my lust and yearning for his beauty.

"WHY THE FUCK AREN'T YOU GONE?" I screamed, going straight up to him and pushing him out the door. He stumbled back and bit and looked at me like I was insane. But I wasn't insane. I was hurt, and he was the cause of my pain. Didn't he know that? Or was he too dense to figure out what he just said to me led me into this anger streak? I don't know, and frankly, at this point, I don't care.

"Yo, Tommy. What's up with you? Baby, what happened-?"

"OH HELL NO! You can't call me, baby! I'm sick of your lies, Adam Lambert! One minute you're all happy and nice on me, and the next you're being mean to me! I don't understand it!" Tears were brimming, but I blinked them away. I wasn't going to cry for this asshole. He wasn't going to see me weak. Not when he's seen me so venerable already.

"Hey, Tommy. I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"Well, fuck! You don't mean a lot of things!" Then I pushed him again. But I hadn't even realized that we were right by my stairs. And I pushed him. And his eyes widened as he began to fall, down, down, down all the stairs. I watched in horror as he just rolled from one stairs to another until he finally hit the wall at the bottom. "Oh, shit me!" I shouted, running down to him and shaking his limp body. I didn't even notice the blood. "Fuck Adam?" I asked.

No response. He was on his side with his perfect eyes shut and his black hair mangled. His lips were slightly parted, but I didn't feel any breath coming out of them. Oh, no. oh, no. Tears rose in my eyes. Oh, fuck me.

"Adam?"

Silence.

"Adam, wake up!"


	8. Sudden Change Of Heart

Hey, y'all! I've got some questions, because I'm like, totally blanking out on this. Either tweet me, or leave me a review with your answers…

Name for the kid? Don't know the gender…And the reasoning behind the name, please.

And c-section, or natural birth…I was thinking c-section…'Cause a natural birth would be weird you know? Tweet me, or review with your answers! I'll be waiting…

* * *

It's been two months since I almost killed Adam Mitchel Lambert. Two fucking months since I almost killed the father of this demon child I'm carrying within me. I'm probably going to name _it _Diablo or something. Shithead. Yea, it'll come out and its name is going to be Shithead Diablo Lambert. Fuck me, that's a great name. But I'm putting this thing up for adoption, so I shouldn't be thinking of names. Anyway, I'm going off topic. Adam might as well be dead. He hasn't woken up for two fucking months. He just lies in bed, eyes shut, and unmoving. And it fucking sucks. Not only because I have to handle this ludicrous situation by myself, but having someone's life in my hands is unbearable. _I_, me, Tommy Joe Ratliff, did this to him because I got angry. I'll never be able to forgive myself for as long as I live. Even if he does come out alive, I'll always have this nagging feeling telling me that I'm a douche bag.

Of course, I didn't tell my mom the _whole _truth. I told her that he fell when he was walking down the stairs and tripped. I was a coward covering up my own pathetic tracks. It's pathetic, I know, but I couldn't bear to tell her. Then I would have to explain the entire story to Lily, and honestly, I didn't want to do that. Fuck me; I did not want to do that. Not only would she not be able to handle it, I just couldn't stand telling her that her one and only son is pregnant. I couldn't put her through that kind of stress.

But during these two months, I've learned more about Adam then I think I would have actually discussing his life with him in depth. And honestly, I enjoyed learning these things (even though they weren't good). Apparently he has no parents and takes care of his younger brother Neil. He's still in middle school, only being fourteen and three years younger than Adam. His parents died in a car accident about five years ago when he was twelve, but he refused to go to a foster home (that's where his stubborn nature started, I guess). So, they decided that their neighbor would take care of them until Adam turned fifteen. So for the past two years they've been living alone.

And honestly, learning this information made me learn more about him and understand him better. I was thinking, maybe, just maybe the reason he's like this is because he doesn't have any parents. So his grief is in the form of "bullying". And I just so happened to be his victim. Truth be told, I'm starting to feel sorry for Adam.

As for me, I'm fucking three fucking months fucking pregnant. Fuck me. This morning I looked in the mirror and it looked like I gained about ten pounds on my stomach. I wear pretty loose shirts so no one should notice, but still…Some day I'll be _too _big for no one to notice. Plus, with Adam on my conscious, I hadn't been taking care of myself as much as I probably should. Like not eating or taking any of those pills pregnant women are supposed to take (I've been doing my research).

I sighed lightly as I entered the hospital, nodding to the front desk. They knew who I was. I visit every day to see Adam and this has been going on ever since he entered the fucking hospital. Each day, I hope that he'll open his eyes. Just open those gorgeous crystal orbs and I can look into them and smile, telling him how sorry I fucking am. Because I was so fucking sorry. I've never regretted anything more in my life. And three months before if I had pushed him down some stairs, I'd be on a fucking riot, so happy. He's been making my life hell, and even if he did make me so pissed off, I can't help but feel _some weird _kind of bond or connection with him…

With a sigh I pushed open his door and saw that he was sitting up, his knees pulled up to his chest and his head leaning on them, looking out the window. The sun came in at such an angle that it looked like he was a levitating angel. So beautiful. He was absolutely…

I gasped and he turned his head towards me. And I didn't see anger or anything twisted within his face. I just saw a pair of lonely and distance eyes that for some reason I thought needed comforting. Shit. No, you can't think like that. You need to do whatever he wants. You owe him big fucking time, Thomas.

"A-Adam?" I stuttered lightly, shutting the door (not once taking my gaze from his beautiful face) and trying to remember how to breath. Not only was he awake, but I could finally rid myself of the part of my brain that kept saying he would die. I could get my life back on track and not just sit in my room eating ice cream all the time. His features were framed to perfection right now. So…

He didn't say anything. He just lifted his arms up and spread them wide, inviting me into a hug. I couldn't help but allow tears to come to my eyes as I raced to him and tackled him into the bed, wrapping my arms around his waist and burying my head into his chest, sobbing. "I-I'm so s-sorry-"

"Shh, it's alright. Just be quiet…" he murmured, kissing the top of my head and holding me tightly. Well he certainly hasn't gotten the bossy part out of him yet…I don't know how long we stayed like this, but all I know was that his heart was beating against my ear and it was the most beautiful melody I would ever hear. I could stay like this forever. Just allow the world to stop, time to freeze, and I would be happy. Just here in his arms. And I never thought I would say that about Adam Lambert. I finally lifted my head from his chest, sniffling a little and looking up at him. "I-I'm-"

He put his index finger over my lips with a faint smile. "Glitterbaby, you don't have to apologize. I don't remember much about what happened, but whatever. It doesn't matter. It's only been, like what? Two months. No big deal, right?" he said, smiling a bit more and I gasped. How could he not be mad? He's Adam fucking Lambert. The guy that I got so angry at, I pushed him down a flight of stairs. Is this even possible? But I couldn't help but get red at my nickname.

Glitterbaby? He's called me that before when we were in the bathroom, but this time he said it so sweetly. I should think of an equally cute nickname for him. He's so sweet. Well, right now, anyway. He's kind of bipolar- Stop thinking so much, Thomas and just go with it!

"How's…Um…" he gulped lightly, his eyes resting on my growing stomach. I blushed and shrugged. This wasn't a topic I liked discussing (as you probably already know), but he's the father, so I kind of have to keep him updated on crap like this. But then again, I haven't been taking care of it, so he's going to be pissed about that.

"I don't know. Haven't seen a doctor or anything, but I'm sure it's fine. Doesn't really matter…" I mumbled a dark blushing rising to my cheeks and burning through my flesh. I could see a frown tugging on his lips and I sighed. His eyes were piercing into my soul. He was angry, just like I thought…

"Glitterbaby, I don't want you to act like that. I woke up after two months and you just told me that in that period of time, you didn't take care of my baby?" he asked, raising an eyebrow and I sighed ever more, my heart fluttering from my new nickname. I whimpered lightly in defeat, and he must have taken that as a sign he had caught me in the act of crime. "Come here…" he murmured, laying back down and pulling me into his chest. His hands curled around and landed on my stomach where he gasped. "Fuck, you've actually grown!" he exclaimed, grinning and nestling into the crook of my neck. It tickled, but I wouldn't let him know that my neck was my weak spot.

I rolled my eyes. This affection was foreign, but so fucking nice. I think I could get use to this. Just lying in bed with Adam. I could handle this. "That has a tendency to happen. I'm about three months along, Adam." I heard him chuckle into my skin. What did I say that was so fucking funny?

"When does she start kicking?" he asked and I blinked, looking back at him. She? Does he honestly think I'm carrying a _chick_ in my stomach? Uh, HELL no. I'm going to raise a boy. Well, actually not raise because I'm putting it up for adoption. But with the way Adam's talking, it sounds like he wants to raise this kid…Oh, shit…

"What makes you so sure it's a girl?" I asked raising an eyebrow and he blushed, burying his head into my neck and groaning. So. Fucking. Cute.

"I don't know. I've always wanted a baby girl, I guess. That's all…" he mumbled and I chuckled. Now it's my turn to tease him. Payback's a bitch. I hear the click of a door and turned my head to the frame.

The door opened and a brunette who I had grown to know as Neil walked in and he sighed in relief. I stiffened lightly, trying to get up, but Adam's grasp tightened around me and I was virtually stuck. Why was he still letting me be in his arms? Doesn't he _not _want his brother to find out that he's gay? Wouldn't that just be the end of the world?

"Adam. I got a call from the nurse and she said you were up. Thank fucking GOD!" he grumbled, sitting in a chair right next to the bed. He looked relived. Probably because of all the stress. Paying for these hospital bills is going to be a bitch.

"Hey, don't use that kind of language. You're fourteen. No fuck," Adam scowled, getting a serious look on his face. I was just kind of awkwardly squished in between them. Neil suddenly got a smug look on his face.

"Your new boy toy, Adam?" he asked, and I blushed deeply, groaning. So he totally disregarded Adam's discipline and attacks me? That's great.

"NO! He's my new and first boyfriend, Neil. Tommy, Neil, Neil, Tommy." He introduced us and his brother raised an eyebrow. Hold on. Did he just call me his boyfriend? Okay, what alternate universe am I in? Opposite Day or something? I couldn't possibly he Adam Lambert's boyfriend. That's weird. So fucking weird. I would never think in a million years that that was even possible! Just, No. I mean, I'm not saying that it's a bad thing or anything, but I certainly wasn't expecting it. I mean, come on! Me? Adam's boyfriend? Just…No…

"I was wondering why you came to the hospital everyday. Didn't think Adam had any friends…" he pondered, smirking and looking at me. "I'll leave you two alone to discuss things. Oh, by the way, Adam. I need you back at the house pretty soon. I haven't cleaned that thing out in like…FOREVER." Then he walked out the door.

"You came to my room every day?" Adam asked, raising both his eyebrows in surprise. My blush deepened and I sighed. He smirked and kissed my forehead. "You like me!" he said tauntingly, a big ass smirk on his face. I rolled my eyes. "Come on say it! You like the father of your child. You like Adam Lambert," he sang, placing a hand on my cheek and forcing me to face him when I looked away embarrassed. "Say it."

"No…" I mumbled and his left brow twitched (I missed that so fucking much). But when I saw that puppy dog look in his eyes, I couldn't help but break a little. You would too if this angel was penetrating you with his fucking gaze.

"So…You push me down a flight of stairs, and you can't even say you like me?" he asked, licking his lips and leaning his head back on the pillow. He looked pretty tired, which is weird considering he's been asleep for two months.

"Wait! You said you didn't remember what happened," I claimed, sitting up on his lap and staring at him intently. He's a sneaky little motherfucker.

"Listen. I don't remember what provoked you to push me, but it doesn't mean I don't remember falling down each individual step and feeling the agony pulse up my spine…" he murmured, trying to guilt trip me. And of course it worked.

"Okay!" Then I mumbled something incoherent, and obviously he wasn't satisfied with that.

"WHAT?"

Mumble.

"WHAT, TOMMY?"

"I LIKE YOU!"

Then I blushed. Flustered probably the most in my life as I gasped, looking into his eyes. "That's what I thought…" he murmured, cupping my face in his hands and pushing my face forward so my lips fell into sync with his. They were like two puzzle pieces that haven't found each other until now. And they fit perfectly.

This was so strange. I just told him I liked him, and now we're kissing. So many things have changed since he became my tutor. Thank you, Lily. Because of you, I have a boyfriend. But then again, thanks to you I'm pregnant. So I guess it's a catch twenty-two. Oh, shut up brain. Just enjoy this kiss that you've been craving for so long.

He flipped us over so I was on the bottom, and it wasn't until now that I realized he was still in one of those hospital robes that give you a clear portrait of the patient's ass. Thank you creator of sheet, and ass-less covers you call hospital robes. I decided to be adventurous as his tongue grazed my bottom lip and I opened. During that ordeal, I slid my hands up his back, snaking them down to his ass and I gave it a tight squeeze. He inhaled sharply, closing his eyes and slithering his arms down to my stomach where he gripped my fucking bump like he was fucking trying to protect it. It was cute, but not sexual in anyway.

Sorry, just whenever I'm talking about my fucking "baby bump" I'm forced to say fucking because I still don't want to be in this situation. But you already know that…

He pulled away beaming at me and kissing down from my neck to my stomach where he lifted up my shirt and kissed my bellybutton, letting his tongue drop and slither in and out. I moaned lightly, arching my back up. He pressed his ear down on my stomach and froze. When he froze the world stopped spinning. He was the only thing on my mind.

"W-What's wrong?" I asked, still horny from our make-out session. His face flustered a bit, and he started gnawing on his bottom lip. What was he suddenly nervous about? Just get over what you're thinking about and kiss me, Adam!

"Do you…Do you think that she likes…" He gulped, looking at me innocently. "Songs?"

I shrugged, rubbing my cock gently with the palm of my hand, trying to make my raging hard on go away. "I don't know. Sometimes I blast some Linkin Park or Breaking Benjamin and just lay on my bed. Is that what you're talking about?" I asked, groaning lightly as I kept rubbing my cock through my pants. His eyes wandered down to my hand and he grabbed it, replacing it with his, rapidly rubbing it up and down, up and down. I moaned, hissing through my teeth and arching my head back. He groaned a little at the sight and responded to my answer.

"Would it be…o-okay if I sang to her?" he asked through clenched teeth and finally sighing once I came in my pants, I mind you. I groaned a little, looking at him like he was insane. What was he talking about?

"You sing?" I asked, squirming uncomfortably in my sticky and wet boxers. Well this wasn't in the least bit nice. But Adam sings? He's full of surprises…And I kind of like that. A bit of mystery never hurt anyone.

"I…I try my best. It's a job I have so Neil and I have some extra cash. I'm not all that good, but whatever. If it's alright with you, can I sing to her? It's a song I wrote awhile ago…" He began fiddling with his fingers while he straddled at my hips, looking down at my stomach.

HOLD THE PHONE. Is Adam Lambert being humble and modest, saying he can't sing well? First of all, I didn't know he _could _sing and second of all, why does he keep calling this kid a _she_? I want a fucking boy! That way I can teach him a bunch of fucking manly things…

I shrugged and smiled a little, lying back on the bed and placing my arms behind my head. "Knock yourself out."

He blushed and kissed my stomach, wrapping his arms around my waist and leaning his head on my chest. He took in a deep breath. His lips began moving and I froze. His voice. It was like metaphoric honey. So…fucking beautiful…

"_I want your body, mind, soul, etcetera, And one day you will see, you should give it to me, And I don't want anyone instead of you, Oh babe I'm gon' crazy, come on and give it to me," _He licked his plump lips and began to rub my belly as he sang, closing his eyes and sighing lightly.

"_And I ain't never met nobody better, You're someone else's baby…_"

How could he sing so well? Is this even possible? His voice is like nothing I've ever heard of before. It's so soft, smooth, and melodic. No wonder his voice ends on a phenomenal high pitch. It drips with sweet cherries…

"_I'm so sick of living for other people, Took meeting you to realize, I don't wanna lose ya, I wanna keep ya, Put your little hand in mine and look into my eyes, baby eyes…_"

Holy shit. That high pitch he hit. That just sent me off the edge. I gasped and pulled his face into mine, shutting my eyes and relishing the taste of his lips against mine. It was sweet. So fucking sweet.

"I like you," I said that with the utmost of truth as I pulled away, looking deeply into his eyes.

He smiled and placed a hand on my stomach, looking innocent and genuine as his eyes gazed into mine.

"I like you more than you will ever know…"


	9. Six Feet Under The Water

Let's get this out of the way (I've been organizing myself, just so you know. I found out that it's easier to be collected then chaotic- see, I'm smart); the kid (notice how I'm not calling the thing growing inside me _it_. Adam got pretty fed up with my constant insults) was conceived (such a fucking weird word) sometime in January, and then I pushed Adam down the stairs in February, so add two months to that and it'd be four months. Yep, it's been another fucking month. And I'm fucking big too. Like…How do I explain this? Fuck, I can't. But I looked like I've been eating way too many ding-dongs. Of course my mother has noticed, but she hasn't pried into it too much, thank the fucking lord, but still, I know one of these days I'm going to have to tell her what's going down, and she's gonna flip out.

Like majorly go down hill. Probably get into a great depression, denial, then flip out over having a grandchild. But I still don't have the balls to actually come out and tell her, I'm freaking out myself; so how can I expect to tell my _mother _that me, Tommy Joe Ratliff, is pregnant with Adam Mitchel Lambert's child? I HAVEN'T EVEN "COME OUT OF THE CLOSET" YET!

But on the bright side, Adam's not being a _total _fucking dick to me. Haha, don't make me laugh. Screw me, he's been even worse. How worse, Tommy? I mean, he couldn't be as bad as he was be before? Obviously not…

Ended up he was like, on twenty-eight pain killers and he got all fucking loopy or something, so he acted that way to me when I went to see him in the hospital. That's the only reason why he was so sweet to me. When I woke up in his arms, he screamed and pushed me off the bed, shaking and yelling at me. The nurse had to come in a drag me out of the room like I fucking shot his foot. That's how much of an overreaction he was having.

So no, there's no bright side. I'm four months pregnant and the father absolutely despises me for unknown reasons. Hell, three months ago he was acting somewhat decent. And yes, I know, he was so fucking sweet. Too sweet. I knew there was something up. I mean, he sang to the fucking kid for God's sake! With the voice of a fucking GOD. It was completely and utterly intoxicating. I mean, come on. It sounded like honey dipped in chocolate in a vast field of sugar. I know that sounds gay, but it's so true…

I gripped onto my backpack straps, hanging my head and looking dully at the floor like it was a gaping black pit ready to suck me in. I was wearing a fairly loose shirt, but you could still tell that there was something there. People don't ask because they don't care, so that's good. However, Adam still draws attention to me. Not to my stomach by saying shit like "Oh, you got so fat!" but mostly just making fun of everything else about me. Thanks for having some fucking decency to the person bearing your fucking child, Lambert.

However, I still hate myself for not hating him. I should just about loath that bastard, but I don't. I'm not saying I love him or anything, that would be going too far, but I do feel something towards him. I don't know what it is. Maybe because he has some kind of obligation to be near me because we're having a kid together, I don't know. All I know is that I don't hate him, and I really want too.

And I have a reason to despise his fucking soul. Him, Drake, and Brad have been making everything a living hell. I mean, Adam just got out of the hospital two weeks ago, but they allowed him to go to school? This is shit. Deep, deep, deep shit. Fuck me. Fuck this entire world…I mean…It doesn't make sense…I don't cry, that's for pussy shit, but it still hurts so much…I bottle up these feelings and I want to cry, but I go to different measures of soothing myself.

"Hey, dipshit. Get the fuck lost, loser," Adam smirked and rammed me into a locker. He smirked sexily at me, and that left eyebrow twitched the way it does. His hair was gelled up so his face was completely on display. But fuck, I can't take this anymore. "What the hell is with your eyeliner? You look like a total pussy, you fucker." This…I can't…

"Look at him shaking, Adam!" Brad laughed in hysterics, pointing and snickering. Drake joined in and Adam just laughed and pushed me harder into the locker, my book piercing my back through my backpack…No, I can't…Do this…

"Pussy, pussy, pussy!" They taunted me. Snapped. Broke. Released. Dead.

I snapped. I mean, I'm a pretty mellow guy, but sometimes, everyone (even pregnant freaks like me), just snap and can't take certain shit anymore. It just gets to a point where it's too much for anyone to handle. That part of you that's just evil turns into a fully raging monster and has to assault your attack. Fucking mutilate his fucking face.

I growled and pushed Adam to the ground, jumping on him and curling my hand into a fist as I pounded his face in. Over and over again. "Fuck. You. You. Fucking. BASTARD!" I screamed, gritting my teeth together and wrapping my other hand around his neck while the other one continually punched his beautiful face. I couldn't even see the pure shock and pain in his eyes, I only saw red and blood. This kind of stress can't be good for me or the kid, but Adam should have thought about that before pushing me to my fucking limit. Panting lightly, I stood up, satisfied with his blood and destroyed face. He was sitting up at this point, holding his nose and spitting out blood. He coughed and looked at me with regret. Like he just snapped out of something.

"FUCKING HELL, YOU ELF!" Brad and Drake screamed cornering me and kneeing me in the stomach. Oh, fucking hell, that can't be good. I wheezed lightly, cringing. It felt like a thousand electrical shocks shot up to my brain and just exploded. Like a part of me just died…

"WAIT! Guys, leave him alone!" The two of them looked over at Adam who looked like he was gonna faint. His hand was grasping his head and he blinked a couple times, whimpering and looking at me before falling forward and landing harshly on the ground. Oh, shit. He was in a concussion for two months, wasn't he? His body probably can't handle that kind of abuse right now.

I gasped and Brad and Drake looked like they too, were gonna faint. My stomach felt like a bitch, the baby's probably dead, and the father is on the ground, unconscious. What the HELL, man? Why can't my life go back to normal? When I was just that rebel kid no one cared about? This chapter in my life fucking sucks…

"WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?"

Well, that can't be good.

* * *

Suspension for a month. Joy, hallelujah! Jubilation! Then when I go back to fucking school, I'll be not one, not two, not three, not four, but _five _months pregnant. And do you know how many times I thought in my seventeen years of life that I would say I would be _five _months fucking pregnant? Uh, no. because, maybe, I don't know. I'm a guy. But I've ranted on that topic for like, eighteen hours already, and it doesn't get me anywhere because obviously I'm pregnant, and there's nothing I can do about it (too late for a fucking abortion, right?)

I was laying on my bed, my mother fuming downstairs. She's being such a bitch. When the principle called and told her what I did, she said Adam wasn't going to be my tutor anymore, and that I was forbidden from doing anything remotely fun for my entire month of suspension. I guess it's a catch twenty-two on that. Because on one hand, I don't have to have Adam fucking Lambert as my tutor, and on the other, I pretty much band from everything I love. Even though I haven't had much time for luxury in like forever. Fuuuuck…

I couldn't help but feel like the kick to the stomach was bad. Like, really bad. I don't know if it's motherly or fatherly instincts or whatever, but I think something like…_really, really_ bad happened, and I have no idea what it is. To be honest, I think I'm being a bitch to this kid. I haven't been taking too good care of it. I mean, I've been trying. I've been taking these weird ass vitamins that pregnant women are suppose to take, and I eat pretty healthy. So, I'm not being all that bad to it, right? I haven't even thought of a name. But I'm giving it up for adoption, so no need to think of a name, right?

I frowned and looked at my door, making sure it was closed. Then I sighed, giving into my weak side and lifted up my shirt consciously. I cringed when I saw the black and blue bruise covering it. That can NOT be a good sign. "Shit…" I groaned, settling a bit and blushing at nothing in particular. Just kind of blushing. I chewed on my bottom lip until it began bleeding and I groaned again. "Fuck, just do it." Do it.

I took in a deep breath and began to mumble/attempted to sing the lyrics to Adam's song. "_I want your body, mind, soul, etcetera, And one day you will see, you should give it to me, And I don't want anyone instead of you, Oh babe I'm gon' crazy, come on and give it to me…" _I sighed. I wasn't the best singer, so why was I singing? This was merely pathetic and futile. Then I smirked when an insane idea popped into my head. I smiled a little walking over to my bass and strumming a couple chords. Okay, that sounds good. I sat in my desk chair and shut my eyes. I took in a deep breath, having Adam's voice envisioned in my head as I began to play chords for his song. It sounded pretty good, and I could feel my heart beat slower. Better for the kid, right? I exhaled, chewing my lip a little more and smiling a bit. This was the first time in a long time that I felt happy.

My fingers flew across the neck as I breathed in and out evenly. Yes, this was nice. So nice. Peaceful. So…

"Tommy."

That voice made my eyes snap open and I stared at Adam in my door frame. He was at a towering height, leaning against my wall with his tightly covered legs crossed over one another with his fucking sexy leopard boots secured to the floor. My first instinct was to tell him I was sorry, and then beat the crap out of him…but I decided to shut up. Let him speak and see what this bitch has to say for himself.

My eyes lingered to his face and I flinched lightly. He had a hideous black eye, a cut lip, and several ban-aids located in various places. I gnawed on my bottom lip. I didn't know I beat him that badly…Okay, that's a lie. For a pregnant dude, I can pack a mighty punch, so give me some credit for that, okay? You have to admit it was pretty awesome. Just not the aftermath, I guess…

"How's your stomach?" he asked, his eyebrow twitching lightly. I blushed a little and looked to the side, not responding. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Hey, listen. A lot of shit has been going on and I don't know…"

My eyes snapped back in his direction. "You're right. I should automatically forgive you for going straight back to your old ways of treating me like crap. Makes sense. Not like, I don't know…We shared a really intimate moment and then I'm shit to you again. Adam, I'm not sure if I can keep up with _your _mood swings. I'm the one fucking pregnant, and _you _have worse mood swings than _me_," I hissed, standing up from my chair and setting my bass against the wall. He looked down at the ground, looking genuinely ashamed. But that didn't stop my rambling. No, he _needs _to know what kind of shit he's been putting me through! Mentally and physically.

"I'm sorry-"

"No, I'm sick of your apologizes. They don't get us anywhere, and I'm fucking sick of feeling like we can be…_boyfriends._ I'm sick of it. I forgave you for a lot of crap Adam, but I'm sick of having to go through all these conversations with you. If you truly are sorry, then you're gonna have to _prove _to me that you changed," I said, crossing my arms and narrowing my eyes. He shuddered lightly and gnawed on his bottom lip. He cringed when the cut on it opened and he sucked on the blood. Poor, baby.

"I have something in mind…" he whispered, glancing up at me. Oh, he's clever. He had something in mind before he came here. I commend you on that, Mr. Lambert. "Um…Close your eyes. Then when you hear a noise, come to it."

Well this was freaky, but if he's got a plan, then alright, fuck it. Let's do it. I sighed and shut my eyes, fidgeting a little when I heard some rummaging around. About five minutes later I groaned a little, becoming impatient. Suddenly, the sound of rushing water filled my ears and my eyes snapped open, looking at the open bathroom. It had steam seeping out of it and I gulped lightly, sneaking into it and looking into my transparent shower. Adam was standing there, under the water, smirking like a motherfucker and staring at me, licking his lips. All he did was lift his hand up, curling his index finger towards him as an indication that I was too, and going to be in the shower. I gulped, averting my eyes to the ground and shaking my head. Did he really expect me to take a shower with him? Naked and rubbing our naked bodies against each other?

I could hear the frown in his voice, "Trust me."

That was all he said. And honestly, that's all he needed to say. Of course I was self conscious about my body now (I was fucking fat), but I could do this, right? I mean, it's not like he can kill me. Well, fuck, yes he can. Like, stab he to death with his dick (that'd be a nice way to die actually) But whatever, I'm going to try…And "trust" him.

I gulped lightly, my face burning with anticipation while I unbuckled my belt, pulling off my pants (after removing my shoes and socks) and gripping the hem of my underwear, looking at him wearily. He nodded a trusting smile on his plump lips. I blinked and slowly slid them down and just kept looking into his eyes. And he did the same, not even looking at my naked waist. And honestly, that made me feel more comfortable about the situation. Now the moment of truth. My fucking shirt. Just get it over with, Tommy. And that's what I did. I quickly stripped from my shirt and stepped into the shower, facing Adam, but allowing my eyes to stare at the wall like it was the most interesting thing there. I wouldn't trust myself not to look at his dick.

I heard him chuckle and wrap his arms around my waist, pressing his cock against mine, making me shiver and bite my bottom lip. This sensation was fucking heaven, but I'm still a bit on edge with him.

"Are you okay?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. I slowly looked at him and shaking my head. He frowned deeply and took one of his hands off me and placed it under my chin so I was looking up at him. "What's wrong, boo?" BOO? WHAT THE HELL? Oh, whatever, I'm sick of trying to figure out his nicknames for me.

"I-I shouldn't be doing this. It just doesn't make any fucking sense. We are supposed to hate each other, and now we're in a shower together. I don't get it, Adam. Five months ago, you shouldn't have been my tutor. I mean, we _hated _each other. And you're a bipolar bitch. One minute you'll be all happy with me and the next you'll be calling me a faggot. I mean, I don't think I can take your fucking mood swings anymore! It's just-"

His lips interpreted my truthful rant and his tongue slid across my bottom lip and I moaned into his mouth, allowing entrance to be granted. He smiled a bit and leaned me against the wall, the water pounding in my ears as he gnawed on my tongue and slid one hand down to my stomach. He placed it on my bump and I hissed lightly. He quickly pulled away and looked at me oddly. I whimpered and looked away, afraid of what he might think. His thick eyebrows furrowed and he gasped when he saw the bruised gracing my flesh.

I wanted to scream at him, kick him, punch him, but I knew I couldn't. That wouldn't be right. He already has a black eye from me, so I shouldn't cause anymore harm. But fuck…That hurt…

"I'm…" He began to say something, but then stopped considering what else he could say. Then his ocean blue eyes went straight up at me and a small, innocent smile graced his plump lips. And he said something that I _never_, _never_ thought I would hear come out of his mouth.

"Marry me."

My eyes widened and I looked at him like he was completely insane.

SAY WHAT?


	10. We Realize Things Too Late

I've had this idea in my head for awhile. Don't kill me. Besides, you don't know what's gonna happen in the next chapter so don't start making assumptions. But knowing me…

Oh, and I would like to thank _everyone _for helping me with the names! You're gonna have to wait to see if Tommy's gonna have a natural birth or c-section. However, with the name, I would like to thank archulambertbby and kelseyflute for helping me come up with it! But thanks for the awesome suggestions, everyone! :)

* * *

"A-Adam, I can't, I'm just-" I tried stuttering out a response to his sudden proposal. There are a lot of things wrong with what he just did. And don't make me list them off one by one. So many illogical assumptions are running through my fucking head. I mean seriously? Not only has he treated me like crap for like ever, and stabbed me in the back, but he's fucking _raped_ (- oh, no. It's not rape unless it hurts. You used lube Adam, so it's ALL good, right?) me. And that's how I ended up in this fucked up situation in the first fucking place!

"No!" I yelled, pushing him away from me and stepping out of the shower and quickly grabbing a towel, wrapping it around my waist. I don't know what just came over me, but I got angry. I know that's not the best way to handle a situation, but I'm flipping out. And it's not even me flipping out. It's that pathetic part of me that's always been weak and vulnerable. Soft because Adam decided to torture me and make me feel like crap. This little part of me that's shriveled up and suicidal; that doesn't want to be here but is forced to so that it can make up my being. That part of me is on a fucking roll of Adam Lambert destruction. "Y-You're just manipulative! First you knock me up and now you're asking me to marry you! Get the fuck lost Adam!" I screamed. My tight fists shook at my sides. "Fuck. You. I would sooner kill myself then marry your fucking sorry ass!" Oh, fuck me…

His face fell and I automatically felt bad. What the hell was I doing? I'm not that big of a grudge holder (understatement of the fucking year), but he's trying to be nice and I totally just had that go down the rabbit hole. I mean, I shouldn't be like this. I should have rejected him kindly, right? Fuck me, Tommy. You just said you'd sooner die then marry him. That's worse then anything else he's ever done to you. He just calls you names, never actually hurts your mental being that you know is indestructible. But telling someone you'd sooner kill yourself then marry them? That's low, even for me. Fucking me…

"I-I'm sorry…That was…It's just…" He was tripping over his words in an attempt to fix what hadn't been broken. Now I felt like complete shit. The rage boiling in me dispersed and I just wanted to hug him. Because honestly, he looked kind of pathetic there; naked in the shower with his hair gracing over his eyes. Pitiful, but oh so luscious. And I wanted to hug him, I really did. Just comfort him and allow him to bury his head into my neck (because that was fucking adorable). Say I was sorry and that we could get married when it was legalized (fucking homophobes. Everyone deserves equal rights your fucking bastards) and then we'll have this kid and name it Diablo.

"I just thought we didn't want the kid to be a bastard child."

You know how I said that anger dispersed? Fuck no. The only reason he wants to marry me is because of this fucking _thing_. I mean of course he doesn't love me or anything (that's going _way_ beyond the limits), but he could at least act like he cares. Like maybe pretend that he likes me for me. The closet we've ever actually gotten to a remotely romantic situation was in the hospital when he was doped up on painkillers! And that's fucking sad if you think about it. The father or your child only liking you because he's loopy in the head. FUCK THAT.

I don't know, this fucking sucks. He fucking sucks. Screw this bitch all the way to bitchy hill on top of dick fucking mountain.

"Get the _fuck _out of my house," I hissed, opening the bathroom door and slamming it shut. Okay, now _I'm _the one with the crazy mood swings and great guilt trips, but whatever. I actually don't care at this point. Everything is spiraling out of control and I'm honestly not sure if I can handle it anymore. I don't have any clue what I'm suppose to do with the kid (and have I mentioned I haven't even thought about the fact that I might have to fucking _give birth _to this thing?), Adam's going insane, and my mood swings are kicking in. Best. Fucking. Year. Ever.

I sighed, drying off my hair and getting into a pair of boxers, jeans, and a tank-top. I lay on my bed, placing my hands behind my head while I heard some rummaging in the bathroom then it opened with a red-eyed Adam. Oh, fuck me! Did I seriously make him cry? I've never seen him cry before. But it was honestly like a perfect picture. His hair was slightly damp and messy with his blue orbs surrounded by rims of red from the result of crying. He was fully dressed again and when our eyes met, he immediately looked the other way, shutting the bathroom door and heading out the bedroom.

I squeaked at him in a pathetic attempt to stop him, but he didn't turn around. He did however say something that didn't make any sense to me. It was totally out of context and I don't get what it meant.

"I've been planning on doing it for awhile. Thank you for confirming my decision. Good bye Tommy." He walked out the door, his leopard boots clicking as he went downstairs, and out of my sight.

What was he talking about?

* * *

Adam didn't know what to do anymore. He poured his heart out to Tommy in hopes that that would make him believe that he truly did care. He really did. He's just messed up in the head, and it's not his fault. Neil's a fucking handful, his parents are dead and he's going haywire to paying off all his hospital bills, home bills, plus the three jobs he's currently occupied with. And he just can't handle it anymore. Of course he's been dealing with all this frustration and stress for Neil, but he honestly didn't realize until a couple months ago that it was hurting Tommy.

The truth is, he really likes Tommy. He's gay, and he admits it. He just shows his pain through the hurt and neglect of others. It's not that he enjoys hurting Tommy, but it's what he does to hide his inhumane feelings towards the blond. Plus the fact that he had to get out his anger some way, and unfortunately, the small male was his metaphoric punching bag. Fuck…

He was hoping that if Tommy at least let him down gently, they could sleep together and stuff, take care of this kid and live happily ever after. But that's not gonna happen. No, nothing is ever going to go his way. And the honest to god truth why he is such an asshole is because it's his way of releasing it all, but Tommy wouldn't understand that. No, he wouldn't. No one can. Not even Neil who's going through the same shit. But it's not the same. He couldn't understand why he was like this because Tommy's life may not be all dandelions, but it sure as hell is a lot better then Adam's. He may be slightly selfish and hypocritical for saying that (because, after all, Adam isn't pregnant), but his life still isn't the most normal. In fact, it's lead him into a couple of break downs.

He didn't think that at the age of seventeen he'd be paying for bills and stressing out so much that he hasn't slept in about two years. It's just…he can't take it anymore. Like, it's unbearable. And the fact that his crush hates him doesn't help that he wants to end his life. What he said to Tommy before he left probably didn't make much sense to him, but it did to Adam. Tommy confirmed the brunette's decision to killing himself.

It's incredibly selfish, he knows, but he can't do anything else. He's going to leave Neil, Tommy, and the baby alone because he can't handle the strain. It was wearing his body down, and sooner or later he was going to die anyway. He hasn't eaten, he's been slitting his wrists to shit, his hair has been coming out when he's washing it, but he's been covering this all up so no one would know his dirty little secret.

And there you have it. Adam Lambert may not be the most selfless male, but he covers up his problems so others don't worry about him. But it's too late for anyone to actually see any of those symptoms…

He hissed lightly, opening the door and slamming it shut. Neil was at his friend's house, thank fucking god. What he was about to do wasn't something he wanted his little brother to witness. Or see. It was selfish yes, but he needed to get this over with. Just do it, Lambert. You've been a coward about it for fucking ever and now's the time. You'll never be able to have Tommy. The kid's probably going to hate your guts, and Neil is better off with a caring foster home. If anything, you're helping the world by ridding yourself from it.

He sobbed a little, running upstairs and rummaging around his medicine cabinet, pulling out the heavy sleeping pills he would soon swallow to end his never ending life. Too much to handle. Die. Die. Die.

He gulped a little shuffling downstairs and grabbing a bottle of wine that he would drown these things with. Tears flew freely down his face now and he bit his bottom lip, deciding if this was the right thing to do. Yes…

"I-I'm so…So sorry, Neil…Tommy…Glitters…" Adam had thought of a nickname for the baby being held within his never to be boyfriend. He loved Tommy being Glitterbaby, so he thought the kid could be Glitters. But no one will ever know that once he's dead. Glitters will never be able to be discovered.

And with his final tears, he shoved a handful of the pills into his mouth, un-corked the wine and gulped it all down in one swoosh. He shivered, sobbing loudly and sliding down the counter with tears staining his face. He buried his head into his hands, his shoulders shuddering up and down with each sob he let go.

"Fuck me!" he yelled, bawling into his sleeve. This is it. It's over. Done. "Tommy…I…I think I do…love you, but I just didn't have the courage to tell you. I'm sorry I was so mean to you…But I don't think I really like you…" He took in a large inhale, shuddering and smile slightly as the tears dripped down his broken face.

"I love you."

The pills took affect and he hiccupped lightly, shutting his eyes into darkness…emptiness…A vast field of nothing but Tommy's face that soon faded, along with Adam's life…

* * *

Adam had just left and I began contemplating what had just gone down. Now it was pretty messed up. "Fuck me, why the hell am I thinking about that now?" I murmured, pulling on my hair. "Why in the name of HELL would I think of _that _name? It's so…"

_You're thinking about names for the kid because you feel bad for what you did to Adam. You broke his heart and you know that just as well as I do. You pretty much took his heart out and ripped it to pieces. And to add injury to insult, you told him to get the fuck out of your house. Sure, Tommy's he's done some pretty shitty stuff, but you pretty much told him to go fuck himself when he fucking proposed to you. That's why you just thought of that name for the kid. You love that name, and you know Adam is going to like it too. Suck it up. Admit it Tommy. You love-_

Hell to the no. I don't love that asshole, he doesn't know what shit I'm going through-

_You don't know what shit he's going through. For god's sake, stop being selfish. His parents died when he was young, he has to take care of his brother. God only knows what he's going through. So stop thinking about yourself. Admit that you actually do care about the thing growing inside you and go find Adam. Tell him you love-_

Shit, shit, shit, shit. I…I can't actually…l…love…Adam Lambert, could I? That just defies everything. It's like magic for me to actually love him. Like some freaky wizard cast a spell on me, enabling me to gain the power to love Adam Lambert. What the hell? It's just not possible…Shit. I should go apologize and tell him what I want the kid's name to be. He should like that. He's into sappy stuff like that, right? It'll make up for my selfish and immature behavior, if anything…

I sighed, running out my door and pounding down the stairs, grabbing my trench coat and shivering lightly when a gust of wind blew in my face as I ran outside, strutting to Adam's house. I knew where he lived because I sometimes took some tutoring appointments at his house. So I'm pretty familiar with it. And it was a pretty nice little house. Two stories, really nice kitchen, awesome living room. I could crash there if need be.

It was cold today. Weird. Gray clouds gathered ahead and it began to drizzle. I cuddled in closer to my coat and squinted through the fog forming around me. What the fuck is happening? Why is the weather acting so fucking weird? This is fucking off. Whatever, I don't give a shit. What am I going to tell Adam when I see him? Do I honestly tell him that I might actually…?

I shook my head trying to rid myself of those thoughts. It's impossible. We're polar opposites. We're…We're…My heart began to beat faster and I stopped walking, shivering and suddenly feeling sick. But I read that morning sickness ended after three months, so why was I so cold and felt like I was gonna throw up? My stomach began to hurt and I gasped, clutching it and gritting my teeth together. Fuuuuckk…Meee…

What was happening? This was so weird. Nature is being a bitch and now this kid is deciding to grace me with its disadvantages. Why the fuck is any of this happening?

Then is stopped. Just stopped. I felt nothing. Like some part of me just died, and I had no fucking idea what part. Like…Something _huge _in my life just vanished and this thing inside of me knew it, the world knew it, and I didn't. What the fuck was going on?

I shook my head and sprinted to Adam's house, walking up to his door and knocking on it (more like pounding on it). There was no answer. I twisted the knob and it opened (not so good when you live in San Diego; keep your doors locked). With a sigh I walked in and looked around. It smelt like him. Coffee and peaches. So sweet, so impeachable…So lovely (I'm gay, get use to it).

"Adam?" I called loudly, gripping my coat and shutting the door. No answer. "ADAM?" I asked louder and still no response. Maybe he wasn't home. Whatever, I'll keep looking. Maybe I'll find something interesting and can snoop around or maybe even-

Oh god.

My hand flew to my mouth and my knees gave in and I fell to them, tears rising to my eyes at the gruesome sight- all too real in front of me. It was like one of my favorite horror movies got hold of the script of my life and wrote those most shocking, most disturbing, most hurtful thing ever into my manuscript. This was…

Adam's back was leaning against the counter, a bottle of wine in one hand and an empty pill bottle spilling over in the other. His eyes were closed and his hair was draped over his perfect face. Adam's mouth was slightly open with white spit coming out of the corner and dripping into the forming puddle on the granite tile that made up the kitchen floor. His chest didn't move and he looked so pale. So fucking pale.

"A-Adam?" I stuttered, literally crawling over to him and hugging his head into my chest. "Fucking hell! ADAM!" I screamed this time, burying my head into his hair and sobbing. Sobbing so fucking hard. "A-Adam, don't die. Don't fucking d-die!" I screamed, shaking and hugging him as close to me as physically possible. "B-Babyboy…" It sounded so right. I don't know why I didn't think of it earlier. He was my Babyboy. And I fucking loved him. I loved his sweet side. And I regret the fact that I never got to know that sweet side. I could only look at his hurt and angry self, and I didn't even know what caused him to be this way. I was selfish and inconsiderate… "I-I…"

I couldn't take it. I burst into bawls and with a shaky hand, reached into my pocket, dialing nine-one-one and giving them all the fucking information they needed (or at least trying to through the waterfalls pouring out of my eyes). Hurry the hell fucking up.

I clutched his head and tears stained his hair. "I-I thought of a name f-for the kid…L-Leo…L-Lambert…" I sobbed even more, nipping at his hair to get a sense that he was still alive. "B-Because y-you always w-wear your leopard boots…A-And I l-love them so much…" I gulped, choking on my own hysterics and felt like it was just me and Adam in a pitch black room. No one was there…just us. I could say anything, and only me, Adam, and Leo would hear it.

Do it.

"I love you."


	11. A Lot Of Things Can't Be Real

Hey, ya'll! How's it shaking? I would like to thank my new beta reader kelseyflute for editing this. And all my soon to be chapters. This is going to be the last one for awhile, just so you know. I'm freaking swamped! Well, cheerios!

* * *

He's dead. The doctors pronounced him deceased when they wheeled him in. I was by his side the entire way and he didn't move. In fact, he just got paler and paler as they whisked him around. But now I'll never be able to see his face. Adam Lambert, the father of my unexpected child, is dead. Six feet under, never coming back. He's gone because I totally rejected him. He's like an insipid life form. You know that means? Adam's never going to move, breath, blink, laugh, sing. Never coming back to life. Buried into the ground in a claustrophobic coffin with the maggots and worms. Rotting into nothing. Never having your same scent or touch. Just…Dead…

_"Tommy, baby! Fuck, what's wrong? Wake up…"_

Adam's dead. How can I hear his voice? He's deceased, never coming back. He's gone. Adam's-

_"Shit, Tommy. Baby, come back to me, please!"_

Someone was kissing my lips, and it tasted like coffee, sweet coffee. And I could smell peaches. But why? That was Adam. He smelt like that. So why was he here? The doctor came out in the waiting room and told me that he was dead by the time I found him. Too many sleeping pills. It was painless, but still death, none the less. So, why? Why? How is he here? It's not…

It sucked in. The world around me went into a giant black hole and my eyes snapped open. I shot up, bashing heads with something hard and began to cough profusely. What. The. Fuck. Was. Happening?

"TOMMY! Fuck, thank God you're okay. You fainted, and I had no idea, what was happening. I was flipping out, so I gave you CPR and-"

No. He's alive. That's what I want. I want him alive. So fucking alive. Warm, able to talk and move. Five months ago, hell, when I was beating the crap out of him a couple hours ago, him being dead would be the best possible thing. But now that I know what that experience is going to be like, he has to stay alive. Be immortal for me and our kid. He was to be here for us. I know it sounds incredibly cheesy, but fuck it. I don't care…

I grabbed his face and placed my lips on his, relishing the taste, the feel, the antagonizing feeling I get when I'm around him. I'm sure of it. So fucking sure. He's…I…

He pulled back too quickly and looked at me, water pounding against his face. It looked a bit shocked, confused, and concerned. His eyes were twisted in a mist of worry, and I couldn't help but feel a bit weak. The water around us made steam seep around the bathroom. Wait. What? We're in the shower? Then my eyes gazed down and I blushed profusely at his naked sight. He had really long legs, didn't he? But it wasn't until now that I realized how many FUCKING FRECKLES this man had. Then again, he was a ginger. So…

"Tommy, baby, what happened? I told you I was sorry for ever treating you like crap, then you like began to fall and I caught you. You've been out for five minutes. Are you feeling okay…?" he asked, placing his hand on my stomach. He…was protective of the kid. Oh, god that sent me over the edge! Involuntary, tears rose to my eyes and I began bawling. Just fucking crying. I couldn't help it. So much shit was happening, and I had no idea where it was all coming from. His eyes widened and he pulled me into a hug. "Shh…Tell me what's wrong, I'm so fucking confused right now…" he murmured, burying his head into the nook of my neck.

All I could do was cry. He was dead. Lying in my arms, cold and dead. It was so real. He killed himself because I was such a fucking bastard. I was going to have to raise Leo alone, and I didn't want to do that. It's selfish, but he was dead…Like, he was never going to come back. And here he was. His naked body in my arms. I just wanted…Wanted to cuddle with him. Feel his touch. Have his body against mine in any way possible. I needed his support and face right now. His soothing voice. I needed it. Now.

"A-Adam…I…I want to get out of the shower…" I mumbled into his shoulder. He nodded and wrapped his arms around me, picking me up and turning off the water. He grabbed a towel off the rack and wrapped it around the both of us, walking into my room and falling onto my bed. His breaths were even and I felt his flesh against mine. Slippery and wet. It was such a nice feeling. So nice, so real.

I never thought this was going to happen. I was lying in his naked arms, soaking wet, in my bed. He was such a fucking bitch to me before. And now look at us. He was supposed to be dead. But he's alive. So…Alive. We're supposed to hate each other. I'm not supposed to be pregnant. How is any of this possible?

"So…Do you want to tell me what was going on with the fainting thing? Is Glitters alright? Are you alright? I caught you before you hit your head. You feeling better?" he mumbled, raising his hand and slowly brushing some of my wet bangs out of my eyes. I just shivered and cuddled in closer to him. My ear was pressed hard against his chest and I could hear his relaxed hear beat in my ear. Music to my fucking soul. That's a clear indication that he is alive. So fucking alive. I wanted to tell him. Like I did in my nightmare. I said I loved him. I wanted to tell him. I wanted to tell him while he's alive in my arms. Breathing. I had too.

"I…Don't…" Glitters? Wait, how did… "Glitters?" I asked hoarsely, looking up at him through the darkness. Fuck only knows how long we were in the shower, but, damn. It must have been a long time because the sun was setting and its dim rays only lighting a part of his face. But enough for me to see the blush rising on his face. And it was beautiful. I swear to go he was an angle. It's impossible for someone so gorgeous to exist.

"I…You're my Glitterbaby, so our kid…I thought…Would be Glitters? I don't know…" he mumbled, attempting to bury his head in the pillow, but I placed my hand on his cheek and took in a deep breath. He was vulnerable right now, so he was soft. And maybe now would be the time, right? Seemed legit. Glitters…So cute.

"Um…I have something really important to tell you…" I began to gnaw on my bottom lip and he stared at me with his head titled to the side. "I…L…"

"What?" he asked, blowing some wet hair from his face and getting a bit more comfortable in our makeshift cocoon. We were so close together…Like we could never be separated. And I never wanted to be separated. We were one now.

"Let's play the confession game!" He looked at me skeptically, and I gulped. It was the only thing I could think of; screw me for thinking on the spot! Fuck… "It's where I say one confession and you say another," I explained and he kept looking at me like I was insane, but shrugged, pulling me closer to his chest (if that was even possible, not that I minded, of course).

"Shoot."

"Leo!" I exclaimed, and he raised a thick eyebrow at me. "I mean…Leo…I want to name her Leo." Now I'm calling the kid a chick. I don't know, I wanted a boy, but Adam's thoughts rubbed off on me, so I thought, why the hell not? She'll be so pretty with all of Adam's features. I won't give her much, but Adam's probably spoiled her with "glam". "I wanted to name her that because…" I gulped, glancing up at him, "You always wear your leopard boots, and I love them so much…And, you like them, and Leo's a pretty name too…"

His eyes widened and he blushed even more, but allowed a beautiful grin to grace his freckled lips. "Official. I love it. Leo…Middle name?" He sighed, closing his eyes and opening them up again with a small and genuine smile, "How 'bout Rose?" he asked. Damn it, he was so fucking gay. Name our kid after a flower. Shit me. I may want a girl now, but she's going to be bad ass. Not one of those freaking preppy sons of bitches with their slutty outfits. I refuse.

"Rose?" I asked and he shrugged. Damn, fine. I'll give him what he wants. Only because I feel bad for what I did in my dream, but that's the only reason why! "Fine. But she'll have TWO middle names. ROSE…And…Scream," I declared, not backing down. His mouth opened in awe and I smirked. "I'm a horror movie fanatic."

"Really? Leo Rose Scream Lambert? Why do you get to choose her first and second middle name?" he questioned, raising that fucking eyebrow I loved so much.

"Because she's taking your last name!" I said, poking his chest and kissing his neck. He shivered a little. "Your turn…"

"Do I have too?" he groaned and I gave him a stern look. He blushed and took in a deep breath. "You're my second." I raised an eyebrow and he mumbled something incoherent. "I mean…Like…You're my second…Person to ever have sex with…"

HOLD. THE. FUCKING. PHONE. He's not a WHORE? What? I remember when he handed me that pregnancy test (when this entire predicament began) that he said he had millions of those for all the girls he bangs. Now he's telling me I'm only his second. Does not seem believable, but…WHAT?

"I know you're probably shocked, but I was a virgin only two months before I fucked you. I fucked Brad, and he wasn't all that good to be honest. I mean, he's in love with me, and I was drunk…So I kind of just fucked him and it didn't mean anything. And after that, I thought sex was just kind of lame and nothing too special. But _then_ I thought that maybe…Maybe if I screwed someone that I liked, it would be different. And it was." He blushed and moaned a little, mumbling into the pillow that he was currently burying his head into.

So…What? This is getting out of hand. That was a stupid idea, Tommy Joe. You're stupid for suggesting that. Sure, you got something out of Adam you thought you'd never hear, but what it worth it? No. "Okay, confession time over…" I murmured, rolling off the bed and walking over to my dresser. It's over because I want to tell him I love him, but I can't. I just…No. And I wanted my confession to tell him I loved him, but I coward out. Oh, well…In another…fifty years, I'll tell him.

I sighed a little, opening my drawer and pulling out a pair of boxers. Whatever, I'll just…

"Glitterbaby. I…" There was a voice behind me and I glanced back and Adam was standing there. Naked. Freckled. Shy. Shiiiiittttt… "It actually wasn't until recently that I realized the difference between fucking someone and making love to someone. And I've been fucking you. I know it's awful, but I've been doing some research, and I read that you can have sex after three months, and you're at five…And I don't want to fuck you. I need to make love to you…Feel you…Kiss you…Connect with you. I know it sounds totally corny, but I'm not good with this kind of shit. Normally, I'm freaked out by commitment, but there's something about-"

I placed my index finger on his lips and wrapped my other arm around his neck, looking into his eyes and dropping my underwear to the floor. "You talk too much." I kissed his lips tenderly and he moaned a little, grabbing my ass and lifting me up from the floor and walking over my bed. He laid me down, straddling my hips and licking my bottom lip and I granted him permission happily. I could feel him smile, not smirk, but really smile into the kiss and his coffee flavored tongue attacked mine and traced my mouth, leaving its presence known. I shivered, arching my back and groaning, tightening my legs around his waist. His hands slid up from my ass to my hair where he pulled on his. I inhaled sharply, loving the feeling of my scalp being abused. Then they made their way down to my face where he cupped it and pulled back, kissing the corner of my eye down to my jaw line and butterfly kissing to my neck. I shuddered and pulled on his hair. I couldn't help it…

"B-Baby…Boooooy…" I moaned, curling my toes in ecstasy. I could hear him chuckle at his newfound nickname. I have no fucking idea where it cam from, but hell. I'm having his baby, so he and Leo are my babies, right? Makes sense- HOLY FUCKING GOD.

His tongue slithered down to my belly button where it snaked its way around it then entered in and out. It wasn't until now that I realized how fucking sensitive it was…Shit!

"_You told me to make you feel, like you're in heaven, You tell me you know what, you want you want this now…" _

I gasped. He was singing. Okay, so this defiantly not just fucking around. He's singing to me? This is…Unlike anything I could ever imagine…Like-

"We may be making love, but it still doesn't mean I don't want you to moan my name. Come on, Tommy…Moan for me…" he whispered, sliding his hands up my chest and gnawing on my stomach with his teeth and grazing over the skin. I moaned loudly, tangling my fingers in his hair and bucking my hips up, gasping for breath. "_You know that I'm open, I tell you my business, You know what you are getting when we get it on…"_

"A-Adddaa…ADAM!" I yelled (probably a bit too loud for the given circumstances), bucking my hips and he groaned, licking up to my neck and capturing my lips with his. We were both fully fucking erect and for once, I wanted him to give it to me until I felt fucking weak. But for some reason, he pulled away, giving me a look of complete admiration and happiness. It was a look I've never seen from him before and I'm not sure where it came from, but I adored it. It was so sweet, so genuine and kind. Something that I never thought I would use to describe him. But a lot has happened that is completely out of the ordinary…

"Tommy…" he panted, kissing down my chest to my stomach where he laid his head against it, ear pressing against my bellybutton. "I love you."

I gasped, stiffening and groaning a little when his hand curled around my dick and he began to pump it. "I love you so fucking much. I always have. I've just been burying my feelings under my cowardly instinct and sex. I love you so much, but I never admitted it until now. I'm sorry…I…Was so mean. I love you," he whispered, pumping my cock and attacking my lips. He squeezed his eyes shut (as if trying to escape rejection) and I moaned into his mouth, causing him to groan in response. When I finally exploded at my peak, he pulled away and panted, looking me straight in the eyes. "I love you."

My chest rose and fell with heavy pants. "Adam…I had a dream that you died. And I led you to kill yourself. Your life was so sad, but I never even asked you about it because I was so selfish. You ended up taking a whole bunch of sleeping pills, causing you to die. I found you and…I admitted I loved you. I didn't know if it was just the dream talking, but…I…Love you so much…I…"

I couldn't finish because I ended up crying again, and I didn't even know why. Just a big fucking crying fest. Shit. I think it was because I recalled that nightmare I had. It was awful; just…I use to think if Adam were to die, my life would be so much better, but now I know it would suck. Fucking suck. I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I've finally admitted to myself that I love him.

Adam kissed my neck and rolled over, pulling me close into his chest and began to kiss my cheek and any part of my face that was exposed to him. "I'll never kill myself. You and Leo need me, so it would be utterly selfish of me to leave you in this situation by yourself. I know that for the past five months I've been pretty neglectful, but I just…Well, I can't say I have it hard because," he chuckled, smiling tiredly at me, "you're the male that's pregnant, but…"

"Babyboy, you don't have to justify anything to me…No matter what-"

"Tommy. Why do you have these pills? Don't-" I froze. Adam froze. Everyone froze. My mother walked in on me and Adam cuddling naked on top of the covers. She dropped whatever the hell she was holding and her hands flew up to her mouth. And fuck me, were those tears in the corners of her eyes? I thought she wouldn't care. I mean sure, how many mothers walk in on her son naked and against a god, but come on mom! Don't cry for fuck's sake!

Adam gasped and I groaned. She screamed bloody murder and my head began to pound out of nowhere. Adam mumbled something, but I couldn't hear him. It was fuzzy, and I didn't know why. I was lightheaded and my stomach felt like a bitch. I moaned a little, shutting my eyes on my mother screaming and crying. I felt someone shake me, but I was gone. Into nothing but blackness.

And it felt like knives were piercing my stomach. Killing Leo…


	12. Don't Trip Off The Glitz

Don't trip off the glitz that I'm gonna display

* * *

_I opened my eyes and I groaned, sitting up and feeling light. Like, I lost fifty pounds kind of light. I gasped and grabbed my stomach where I was completely flat. Shit, shit, shit. What the fuck happened? Why am I not big anymore? Does that mean I'm not pregnant? Like my entire pregnancy was some cruel nightmare where all the drama Adam and I went through was just my illusion. But it was so long, and it felt so real. Is Leo not reality? Does Adam still hate me? Did we honestly never love each other? Is God just fucking messing with my heart and toying with me…? Because if there is a God, he really, really, really hates me._

_Beads of sweat made their way down my face and I looked around me, seeing a weird bedroom. It wasn't my bedroom. The walls were a faint baby blue and there was a crib in the corner. Stuffed animals and empty milk bottles were sprawled around the floor. It smelt like baby powder and coffee. Fuck?_

_"Oh, Glitterbaby, you're awake. I took Leo 'cause you were really tired. I let you sleep. Hope you don't pass out on me again." I looked up and Adam was standing there, smiling like a son of a bitch with a clump of pink blanket being held in his arms. What was he talking about? Leo…Our kid? Leo was born? No, I don't remember any of that so it's not possible that she's here with us. Just, no. How is that possible? "Sweetie, are you okay? Wanna see Leo? She's awake and squirming. She wants her mommy…" he cooed, walking over to me and sitting on the bed, passing me the blanket. He looked so happy, it made my heart swell and burst. Seeing him this happy was enough to make my happiness last forever. It was enough-_

_I looked down and gasped, my eyes widening. What…What the fuck was this thing? It wasn't a kid. It was a fucking demon. It was so terrifyingly disgusting, I almost gagged._

_This thing Adam called Leo had blood-red eyes and shark-like teeth when it grinned. Its skin was gray and cracked open, bleeding. Blood was pouring out of its eyes, ears, and nose as it croaked. Its dilated pupils looked at me as if trying to hypnotize my very soul. The fucking thing smiled hideously and its throat rasped together to create a horror film noise. I yelled and threw the blanket against the wall, panting and jumping up from my bed. _

_Shaking, tears come into my eyes as I saw the demon fall to the floor and let out a painful wail. But it didn't sound like a monster. It sounded like a baby that was crying. But it wasn't a baby. It wasn't MY Leo. It didn't even resemble a human. What the fuck was that thing? And why in the name of hell did Adam take care of it like that? He was treating that piece of shit like it was my Leo!_

_"TOMMY! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?" Adam screamed, rushing over to the blanket and picking it up, rocking the fucking demon back and forth like it was a human child. Adam glared at me and hissed. He walked up to me furious and spit in my face. My eyes were just wide in shock. "HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO LEO?" he screamed and I looked down at the demon. But it wasn't a beast anymore, it was a little girl. Her eyes were squinted lightly with tears in the corners. And they were a bright brown color. Like chocolate. Her hair was a dense red and she had the cutest freckles gracing her nose and lips. Her cheeks were plump and bright scarlet. But I could only notice the huge ass cut on her forehead that was bleeding down her face, mixing in with her tears. No, I didn't do that. I…I…_

_"L-Leo…It…It wasn't Leo, I…Adam!" I tried to reason with him, but he was walking past me, taking Leo with him. His slick legs moved quickly as he made his way down the hall. "I don't know what happened! I don't know what's happening! I'm so scared…" And much to my dismay, tears began pouring down my face as I followed him into the kitchen. I needed him to hug me, tell me everything was going to be okay. I wanted to lie in bed, Leo between us and just kiss, knowing we were family again. But that image of my daughter was haunting. What the fuck was happening? Why can't I be normal? I'm so fucking terrified…I needed him to comfort me right now._

_"No, I get it. You don't want Leo. That's it. And I'll grant you that wish, Tommy…" he whispered, opening up a drawer and pulling out a thick and sharp knife. "You don't want Leo," he said again, raising the knife and in a flash stabbed what was contained into the pink blanket. My daughter's blood splattered on Adam's face, but he didn't have any emotion. His eyes stared blankly at me and his mouth was creased into a thin line. The red liquid that was once contained in a sweet girl dripped down his chin and temple. But he didn't care. He killed…_

_I screamed and the tears kept flowing. I was shaking and ready to throw up. "A-Adam…Y-You…Killed Leo!" I shouted, falling to my knees and sobbing into my hands. H-He killed my baby girl. Adam Lambert killed my daughter. How…I. She's dead. This isn't real. This is a fucking bad dream. A fucking nightmare! WAKE UP TOMMY JOE RATLIFF. WAKE THE FUCK UP AND GET OUT OF THIS HELLHOLE. YOU NEED TO GET A GRIP._

_"That's what you wanted. And you don't want me anymore. I can't live with someone who didn't even want our daughter…" I raised my head just in time to see him put the tip of the knife into his chest and penetrate his flesh. Blood gushed out of his mouth as the blade went straight through his heart. He fell to his knees and on the ground. _

_I was surrounded by Leo's and Adam's blood, and the tears kept coming._

"Don't worry. It's just part of the pregnancy process. Too much stress can lead to dizziness and occasional faintness. He's fine, Adam. Don't freak out on me, man. I can't handle so much gay at once. First you tell me you got your boyfriend pregnant, then you freak out."

"Monte, he's the love of my life who's carrying my soon to be daughter. How can I not freak out? And if you say, 'don't rub your gay off on me' I swear to GOD I'll kill you."

I groaned, grasping my head and blinking lightly, tears clouding my vision. It was a dream? Another fucking dream? No, it was a nightmare. Adam killed Leo, then himself. Why is Adam dying all the time? Who's fucked up mind is this coming from? Mine, I know. But fuck, God is a retarded nugget. I mean is he a fucking homophobe. Like, seriously? Why does he hate me so much? Because I'm involuntarily pregnant? That bitch…

"Oh, Tommy! Thank God you're up!" Strong arms wrapped around me and I started bawling like a bitch again. Fuck me, why? I need to get a grip on all these tears. It can't be healthy, all this crying. But then again, I'm not in the best condition for a man anyway, so crying a lot shouldn't make much of a difference. "Glitterbaby, what's wrong?" he asked, scooting me over and sitting on the bed, placing me in his lap. He laid his head on mine and inhaled a little while I kissed his jaw over and over again.

"W-Where are we?" I whispered, burying my head into the crook of his neck. He's alive, that's good. No more death dreams. Jesus, no. I don't think I can handle this anymore. I'm dying on the inside. Sure, I may look okay, physically, but I'm dying. My insides are dead and my soul doesn't see a reason to live anymore. I know its fucking god awful, but all this stress and madness has gotten to me, and honestly, I'm sick of it fucking all. Just kill me now…But I want Leo alive.

"Hospital. Both you and your mother fainted, so I brought you here to see what's wrong." I tensed and he must have felt it. But he just laughed melodically again. That laugh will forever be my soothing noise. That and his singing of course, but he doesn't do that as often as laughing. But whatever, just his voice is amazing at this point. Just anything about him will make me happy to be alive. "Don't worry, baby. I brought you to Monte. He's my guitarist and a doctor, so he gave you an ultra sound and checked your blood pressure and shit. You're good. I feel like an idiot for not bringing you here earlier. I mean geeze…" Oh, well that's good. But wait, he knows I'm pregnant? Isn't that going to freak him the shit out? Adam seems to trust him, so I should too. I love Adam, so I have to trust his judgment and everything about his ever living soul.

"H-Hospital…How's L-Leo?" I asked, sobbing through my words and trying to see my beautiful boyfriend's face. It was so comforting at times like this. All I had to do was look into his eyes, and everything automatically felt better. But that was good in this case because I was breaking down on the inside. Quit literally too. I could feel my heart shattering and trying to heal itself, but it wasn't working. His eyes made my mind feel better; however, my body was physically drained. But I couldn't tell him that, he was so happy. And I don't want to tell Monte that because he might just say it's bad to the kid and it'll kill this great mood. Even though I'm dying on the inside. No one will be able to witness these horrific dreams I've been having.

"She's fine. In fact…I'm positive she's a girl! Lookie!" He grinned like a child and held up some black and gray images that were swirled together, but resembled a fetus. I gasped and grabbed the ultra sound picture. She looked like a squirrel, but that was Leo. That was my little Leo. My baby girl. And once again, like the gay pregnant man I was, I began crying and Adam groaned, Monte just smiled, leaving us alone, telling us we could be dismissed whenever we wanted.

"Babe, stop crying, you're freaking me the hell out…" Adam sighed, squeezing me and kissing the corner of my eye. I knew he was trying to make me feel better, but honestly, it wasn't helping. If anything, it was just making me cry more because he truly was here. But I've had two awful dreams in a row, and something is telling me they're not going to end any time soon. And sooner or later, I'm going to die from it all.

"I'm sorry, it's just…"

"I know, come on, lets go…" he murmured, picking me up bridal style and walking out of the room's door, leaving the hospital. Thank fuck, I hate that place. Not only because I'm in there for all the wrong reasons, but because it's a fucking hospital. Hello, who the hell liked that shit? Plus, it's just a sign of what's to come. Childbirth…Shuddering, I bit my bottom lip, dreading what was to come. I'm a big prognosticator if you haven't already noticed. I hate doing shit. I sighed, holding the pictures of Leo close to my chest (like the wind would blow them away) but then putting it in the glove compartment when Adam set me in the seat of his car… It would be best to keep those secret if you know what I mean. Haha, if my mom were to see that she would…

"So what's up with my mom?" I asked. Is it bad that I wasn't even worrying about her? Shit, she's going to disown me, I can feel it. Just…No…I can't think about that too. Just more shit on top of a lot more shit. Adam shrugged, holding his hand out to me while he settled into his seat and started the car, driving out of the parking lot. His finger nails were painted black. Fucking sexy.

"When she fainted, I just put her in her bed and threw you in the car, rushing ya to the hospital. She's fine, just a bitch." I smiled, taking his hand, but then gasped when I was whipped lashed and bashed my head on the dashboard. I groaned and looked through the windshield to see Brad in front of the car looking as pissed off as hell. Oh, that's great. Just what I need, more drama and another headache. I really should have asked Monte what stress did to this kid. Because if I keep up with all this, my kid is going to come out a lawyer. Yea, I have no idea where that came from, but it sounded smart…I need some moral support here! JESUS.

"You okay?" Adam yelled, eyes widening and kissing my forehead where there was a growing bruise. Ouch…I nodded anyway and he sighed. His blue eyes glanced outside then he looked back at me and smiled a little. "Let me take care of this…" He sighed once again, giving me a quick kiss on the cheek before letting go of my hand and stepping out of the car towards Brad.

I sighed a little, my sad eyes looking down at my stomach. It wasn't flat, thank god. What did Brad want? Seriously? Can't our life just be full of normalness and non-doucheyness? This doesn't seem right. For one person to be so fucked up. I looked back up and wished I hadn't. Brad's lips were locked on Adam's, his eyes shut. And it didn't look like Adam was trying to get away. In fact, I saw his mouth open and spit being exchanged. Their tongues touched and wrestled before they began fucking each other's mouth again. Rage boiled within me, but then I had to remember that stress and anger wasn't good for Leo. Think of the kid, Tommy Joe. The father may be a lying bastard, but she needs another dad…

So I very calmly got out of the car and stormed up to Brad and Adam, pushing them apart. "FUCK ADAM!" I screamed, glaring at Brad for a second before turning my attention to my maybe ex-boyfriend. He looked in a daze, but genuinely ashamed. Oh, he needed a lesson. And he needed it hard and good. Something that would snap him out of his horny beast stage and make him realize he has a giant ass responsibility!

"N-No, Tommy, it's…He…I…"

"No, this is what it feels like when your supposed boyfriend makes out with some other man!" I hissed, wrapping my hand behind Brad's head and locking lips with his, licking his bottom lip. He moaned, wrapping his arms around my neck. I smiled a little, liking the taste of him. Mm, cherry. Normally, it's coffee I taste. And his lips were so fucking plump too. Damn, he was a good kisser. Erection worthy, I tell you. I groaned, wrapping my arms around his waist and closing my eyes, grinding my hips into his and if I didn't mistake it, I could hear Adam groan a bit.

"W-Wait…Oh, god…" My boyfriend moaned a little and I opened one eye, glancing at him to see him rubbing his cock like he was trying to get off at this sight. That made me moan, which made Brad moan. One long chain of horny teenage boys moaning. Hot, fucking hot. "I-I…Let's go to my house you sexy bitches," Adam hissed, pulling us apart and practically dragging me and Brad to the car. He threw us in the back seat and quickly hopped into the driver's seat. Of course, that didn't stop me and the brunette from feeling each other. I couldn't help it. I was so fucking horny for some reason. Was it part of being pregnant? I don't think so. But I wanted sex, and I wanted it now. I needed to stop thinking and just focus on this pretty boy in front of me.

Brad lay back on the seats and I straddled him, lust covering my eyes as I bit his neck and he yelped a bit, causing Adam to groan again and mumble something that sounded like, 'Don't make me come back there'. But I didn't care. I wanted to be inside Brad and him inside of me. Fuck him until he's screaming my fucking name. And I don't know if I'm fully capable of fucking someone considering I've been the one that's been screwed, but I've seen Adam plenty times and he was the master of pleasure and pain, so I can rightfully say I've learned from a pro (even if he's only banged two guys).

He grabbed my covered dick and I gasped, biting his neck harder and licking at his collar bone. He moaned, rubbing the palm of his open hand up and down my growing erection. I whimpered, crouching down and biting his nipple through his shirt. He took in a sharp gasp. My spit seeped through the fabric, coating it. I shut my eyes enjoying the taste of him and the feel of his small frame.

Next thing I knew, Adam pulled me off of Brad and kissed me hard. I whimpered, wrapping my legs around his waist as he carried me up the stairs to his apartment, Brad quickly behind. Adam kicked the door open, immediately shutting it when the other male entered. My boyfriend rammed me against the door, sucking my collar bone and getting squished into me when Brad pressed hard against him. I groaned, smirking.

"Adam Lambert sandwich…" I cooed, running my fingers through his hair. He smiled at me, but then growled when Brad rubbed his hard erection into his covered ass. I whimpered a bit, getting smashed into the door, and having Adam's dick shoved into my stomach didn't help. I don't know if it was weird or what, I but wanted to touch it, give him the best blow job of his life.

"Boys, let's get more comfortable…" he suggested, taking off my shirt and quickly turned around and unzipping Brad's pants. Brad wrapped one arm around Adam's neck and kissed him. I didn't mind, I was so fucking horny, I just wanted a hand on my dick and pumping it until I was empty. And that's exactly what _Brad _did. While he was tongue fucking Adam, he slyly unzipped my pants (like a sneaky motherfucker) and fumbled with my button, eyes closed while he enjoyed Adam's hand running up his shirt and flicking his nipples. I was getting the best seat in the house.

I moaned and helped him by taking off my pants and boxers. His hand curled around my throbbing and leaking cock. He moved his hand up and down dryly and I started gnawing on my bottom lip while I grabbed Adam's hair and yanked it. He whimpered away from Brad's mouth and began to suck on his collar bone while Brad jerked me off. O-Oh, fucking Jesus lord in hell. He was so good. He must be either jerking off constantly, or his hand is a fucking god. Adam didn't even jerk me off this well, and that's saying something!

"Come Tommy. Come on…" Adam murmured against Brad's skin, undoing his own belt and letting his pants fall down. I whimpered, leaning my head back while abusing my boyfriend's scalp. The brunette squeezed his eyes shut and began to kiss my arm. I finally exploded on Brad's hand and he took it to his mouth and licked it, crouching down and tackling me to the ground. I moaned, my arms being pinned down, but loosely enough where I could easily snake them away. My flaccid dick wasn't going to remain that way for long with the way Brad was abusing me.

"That's right. You two get nice and feisty with each other. I'm gonna sit here and watch…" Adam murmured, sitting on the couch while I and his best friend wrestled on the ground which involved sucking, licking, and touching each other's dicks. I could hear Adam whimper lightly as he whipped out his own cock and began to pump it at the sight of the person bearing his child and his best friend practically raped each other through their clothes. He bit his bottom lip while Brad licked my temple, gnawing on my sweaty hair while I panted and bucked my naked hips into his. I tugged on Brad's hair as he tugged on my nipple with his teeth. "FUCK!" I giggled a little, hearing Adam come.

"Can we take this into the bedroom?" Brad panted and I grinned. Those were the first words I heard coming out of his mouth. Now if you told me I would be four months pregnant when I would have a threesome with Adam Lambert and Brad Bell, I would have called you an idiot and probably slapped the ever living shit out of you. But damn, you've got some pretty fucking good physic powers.

I was lifted up by Adam and I smiled, leaning my head into his chest as Brad followed us taking off his shirt and I smirked a little, looking up at Adam.

"Don't forget to use a condom."


	13. When Your Nightmare Becomes Reality

"In and out, in and out. Come on Tommy! DEEPER!"

"A-Adam, I'm trying, it's so hard…"

"Fuck, Tommy. It's turned on; just watch me suck in and out. You can do it!"

"Shit, Adam. You're acting like I'm not good at this! I'm going as deep as I can!"

"Well, not deep enough!"

My lips were formed into a pout and I opened them taking in a deep breath and leaning my head back into Adam's chest that was helping me sit up. "Adddaammm…" I whined, shutting my eyes and squirming uncomfortably in his grasp. He was so serious when it came to this kind of shit, but I honestly didn't care. If watching "How To" videos on the art of breathing will actually improve child birth, why the fuck do women complain all the time? If I just have to breathe, why should I be scared? But no, it's gonna hurt like fucking hell, so I don't think I should be wasting my time on breathing. How 'bout planning my funeral?

"Don't give me that shit. We've got one more month until this kid is born and I refuse for you to go into labor, freaking out because you didn't know how to breathe properly! You've got to do this for Leo. Now breathe in and out, just like the lady on the television screen, okay?" Adam said sternly, poking my nose and giving me one of his many looks. This one said, 'Listen to me, I know best.' Oh, like you actually know best. You're not gonna be the one popping out a kid, fucker.

There was a knock at the door and Neil groaned in annoyance. "You guys sound like you're having sex in there. I'm not homophobic, but two men banging each other and me hearing them isn't my idea of the ideal Saturday. And because I don't want to listen to dicks slapping up against one another, I'm going over to Treve's house. Bye!" Neil yelled, storming off down the hall. He normally spent most of his time at that friend's of his. Not that I minded. Just meant more alone time with my hubby.

I moaned a little, sitting up and turning off the TV. That woman was getting annoying. She only said one thing the entire time. Breathe in and out. It's not like I'm going to attempt to breathe right and left. No duh.

We couldn't go to real Lamaze classes, so Adam bought like, fifty DVD's on how to act when in labor. I swear to god that man had issues. He's probably the most paranoid person I know. If I even groan in pain, he jumps up and starts flipping out, thinking I'm going to puke up blood. But it's just these fucking contractions or something. Which shouldn't even be happening because you get those when you're about to give birth. But I've got another month on me, so I should not feel pain. However, that doesn't stop nosy Adam from calming down…

"Aw, don't be mad. Come on. Let's cuddle!" the brunette squealed, falling back on his bed, his leopard boots crossed and a smug smirk on his face. I sighed, laying next to him and curling up into a ball as best I could. Leo got fucking big in the past four months. I mean, of course that was expected, but hell. You can obviously tell that something is up. I'm freaking fat and the only people that actually know about our dirty little secret are Adam, Monte and I. Thank the fucking lord we're not alone on this.

Adam chuckled and wrapped his arms around me, kissing my temple and humming my favorite song into my ear. He calls it Music Again, and I've never actually heard the studio version of it because I love the unplugged type so much better. His voice on its own is so magical (I'm gay, get fucking use to it), that hearing it with an electric set might ruin the velvetiness of his voice. And I wouldn't want him to ruin my favorite lullaby. Leo goes fucking crazy when he sings.

I sighed contently, letting my tired eyelids droop as I lay in his chest. His voice soothed me and it felt nice. And our little girl liked it, so it was even better.

My mother kicked me out when she found out I was gay. Yep, she found out and flipped. I was heart broken and cried for about a month over it. She kicked me out of my own house because I was gay. I was almost positive she'd accept me, but apparently not. Which I don't understand. It's kind of like she's kicking me out for having brown eyes. Having your natural eye color is about as involuntary as being gay. So she's a homophobic bitch I realized. I haven't spoken to her in three months. I grabbed all my stuff that I needed and left. So now I live with Adam (which was both exciting and terrifying to me). Of course, I feel like a complete burden on him and his brother, and he won't let me live it down, but what else am I suppose to do in this situation? They pay for everything which I feel like complete shit for, considering the fact they're barely getting by as it is. But whatever, I'll figure out a way to get money later.

Oh, yea…And about that threesome…Well, that's pretty self-explanatory. What more do I have to say? I had sex with Brad and Adam that night and it was fucking (literally) fantastic. Not one complaint. Even watching them screw each other was enough to make me go completely and utterly wild. Like literally, I went into orgasm like five times that night. It was amazing. But I still want nothing to do with Brad; he's a douche bag still. But just because someone is a complete bitch doesn't mean they can't give you a good blow job. Like really, he's great. I'd describe it to you in more detail, but what fun would it be to spoil it for you?

Adam licked my temple, kissing at my hairline and sucking on it. I groaned a little, shuddering at the feel of his spit. He moaned and began to rub his hips up and down my crotch and I gasped inwardly, craving the feeling of his dick against mine. "Wanna get Brad over here?"

My once clenched eyes snapped opened and I gasped, looking at him. He looked at me too, tilting his head to the side. This was sudden… Oh, fuck me. It's all coming together now. I get it, and I'm a fucking idiot for not realizing it before. He only wants sex. That's all he wants. He's a sex craved monster. How did I not notice this in the four months I've been living with him? Once a week he whines about not banging me, and in the time that we're not fucking, he's trying to get me horny. Like kissing every inch of my body and licking any exposed skin. He's just acting like he gives a shit about the kid and me so I'll stick around to be his real life sex doll. Oh, god…

I got up from the bed, walking over to the closet, grabbing my trench coat and wrapping it around my body in an attempt to just look kind of fat and not full grown pregnant. Adam got up too and followed me. I couldn't look at him, but I needed to confront him about what I just found out. It was real too…Fuck me, no.

"Glitters, what's wrong?" he asked, grabbing me by the waist. I hissed, grasping his wrists and pulling them off of me. He took a step back and looked at me sadly with confusion creasing a seam in his blue orbs. "Tommy Joe, what's gotten into you?"

"WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO ME?" I was hurt, I wanted to cry. Oh, god. How did I not realize this before? He doesn't give shit about me or Leo. It's just about his dick inside asses and his own self pleasure. It's so obvious. Leo was a mistake because he couldn't keep it in his pants. That fucking threesome was a mistake, and he just wants to have sex. That's it! Oh, god… "A-Adam, all you want is sex! After eight months of all this drama, I can't believe I stuck by you! Haven't you realized that sex is your main priority? That's all you wanted before Leo, and that's all you'll want after! I can't believe it…Y-You…Probably don't even love me…its sex this, sex that and I feel like a complete idiot for not thinking, 'Wait, maybe this is just too weird. Why after all the torturous shit Adam Lambert has done to me, all of a sudden does he like me?' Well now I know. I'm your sex toy and that's it. To think that I gave up my life for you and this fucking mistake inside my stomach! Screw you, you bitch. I'm not gonna be abused like this anymore. Fuck you!" I yelled, storming past him and out of the room, trudging downstairs and out the door. Tears were stinging my eyes, but I refused to let them pass. I couldn't. A frown was tugging heavily on my lips and I moaned a little walking to no where in particular.

Oh, no. What did I just do? I'm making everything so bad. Maybe my special place will help me calm down…

Adam fell to his knees, tears pouring down his face as he sobbed. How could Tommy think he was like that? His boyfriend didn't even know the half of it…He didn't know _any _of it! And it broke his shattering heart that Tommy just suddenly went to the worst scenario possible! The reason Adam was so obsessed with feeling Tommy and wanting to be with him all the time, the excessive wanting to shove his dick up his ass was because he wanted to make love to the blond. Not screw, fuck, or bang…make love. Because he doesn't have his entire life ahead of him to do that.

Recently, Adam had gone to the doctor because he had been having immense chest pain and his vision had been failing. So he went to Monte and they did a CAT scan on him, only to tell the brunette that he had the fatal Cerebrovascular disease which is when you have an immense fall in blood pressure when you sleep. When you wake up, you never know if you're going to have a stroke or pass out in a coma and remain a vegetable for the rest of your life. He's known about it for three months, and he's scared that when he wakes up in Tommy's arms and gets out of bed, he'll have a stroke and die. Or in another case never wake up at all.

The suspense is killing him because he doesn't know when he's going to die. It's going to happen, but it could be tomorrow or in fifteen years. That's the shitty thing about this fucking disease. You're going to die, but the big question is 'when?' So, Adam has been spending every waking minute with Tommy, kissing him, and making love to him because he doesn't want to just have Tommy and not touch him. He wants to mutter encouraging things into his ear and tell him he's going to be there to protect him and Leo from harm's way. But he would be lying if he said that because Adam can't even take care of himself at this point.

But now he's royally screwed that shit up because the blond thinks he's some sex craved monster. Why hadn't he told the bassist sooner? Because he was too scared that he wouldn't be there when their daughter was born and Tommy would have to take care of their Leo alone? Oh, shit. He didn't want that. In fact that was the last thing the singer wanted to burden upon his growing family. To be honest, he hadn't even started thinking about Neil and that situation. But he knows for a fact that his little brother is independent and capable of taking care of himself; Tommy however, was in such a fragile state, he wouldn't be able to survive on his own. And shit only knows how that could affect that baby.

Adam began to hyperventilate as he grabbed his head, stumbling out of his room and down to the kitchen. He opened the cabinet and pulled out the first bottle of wine he saw (Monte gave it to him; he's not the most responsible friend in the world) and uncorked it, placing his lips on it and gulping half the bottle in a minute. He took it off, his eyes shut and tears stroking down his face. "T-Tommy…" he moaned, sliding down the counter and bawling into his arm. "You fucking bastard…" he mumbled, taking another long swig of the wine, getting drunker and more incoherent with each drop of the liquid.

I got up from the place where Adam and I always spent our good times together. It was in the woods where no one could reach us because it was hidden by tree branches and bushed. On our sixth month anniversary, Adam took me there so we could kick back and relax. I loved it so much that we come back here once a month and just lay in each others' arms. If my boyfriend truly didn't care about me, why would he take me back to this special spot? I'm a fucking idiot.

I just overreacted, that's all. Adam would never actually do something like that to me. No, he said he loved me and that's the end of the story. Love is love, and you can't fake it. Haha, yea right, Sher - fucking - lock. It could totally be fake. But you know it's not. He said he loves you, and he's not lying, so why are you making such a big deal out of this? You're blowing things way out of proportion as normal.

I sighed, walking back to his house and staring at the ground and shivering slightly at the cool breeze. I could barely see my blue converse because my stomach had exerted so much. Not saying I was complaining or anything, I wanted to get big if I wanted Leo to be healthy, I will however, say it's not the most convenient.

I got to the door and opened it up, taking off my coat and smiling a little. I would make up with Adam. It'll all be good. I kicked off my shoes, licking my lips and taking in a deep breath. You owe him one hell of an apology, Mr. Ratliff. So get that entire ego out of you and tell him you're sorry and you love him so much.

"Babyboy?" I called, blinking and walking into the kitchen. I saw his back turned to me with red liquid covering the floor. His head was hanging down and he was breathing hard. "Adam?" I asked, taking a step forward. The red liquid was thick and had an intoxicating aroma to it.

"Tommy…" he whispered, turning around and grasping a thick knife in his left hand. His right wrist was completely mutilated, cuts going left and right, bleeding in pools. I gasped, watching as it dripped to the ground. "Y-You, don't love me…" he murmured, stumbling over to me and stabbing his arm again. Straight through his fucking forearm. The silver blade was covered in his blood and it gushed out, covering the floor and splattering.

"ADAM!" I screamed, rushing over to him and pulling the knife out, about to throw it to the side when he grabbed it from me, tackling me to the floor and straddling my waist, pushing it up to my throat. I cringed, tears rising in my eyes as I stared into his black, tear stained eyes. I could feel the blade pierce my neck and blood trickling down. Oh, fuck me. What the hell had I gotten myself into? What had I done to my Babyboy? What could I have possibly done to him to cause him to inflict this shit upon him? I'm such a fucking selfish bastard! FUCK ME! "A-Adam…Sweetie…Stop it…" I tried to concentrate, but I was scared. I didn't know how stable he was…

"W-Why don't you l-love me?" he asked, sniffling and hanging his head down. "WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME?" he screamed, raising the knife and stabbing right through my shoulder. I gasped, and yelped, tears flowing freely down my cheeks. My heart was about to beat out of my chest and I was breathing heard. It felt like an electrical shock radiated through my body. I just hope to fucking GOD, Leo would be okay during this fucking chaotic ordeal. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if… "I do everything for you, and you don't love me?" he moaned, slipping the knife out of my flesh and crying. I was crying too from both pain and shock. "I-I…love you so much. Why can't you just love me?" the brunette asked, hanging his head again. He looked so sad and broken. I had caused this problem, so I better fucking fix it!

"B-Babyboy…" I wheezed, trying to reason with him. "I…I love you. I was j-just being an idiot…But you need to get a hold of yourself…" The pain was excruciating. Almost to the point where I wanted to scream and kill him, but this wasn't his fault. He's taking so much fucking medication, plus alcohol; it just doesn't mix so he goes fucking insane. I should have known! Twenty-eight different kinds of meds (he's had a pretty fucked up life, and he can't handle it alone) plus alcohol plus his boyfriend (and bearer of his child) telling him he's a sex craved beast, equals total destruction.

"I…I'm going to die…" He whispered, holding the knife up and placing it where his heart was. "Tommy, I'm going to die." He sniffled, blinking away some tears and licking his lips. What was he talking about? Fuck, no.

No, this is a dream. I've been having so many death dreams, this is just another one of them. I can't honestly believe that Adam is going to die. Next thing you know, Leo's going to explode. This can't be real, I just can't handle-

"You just think I'm a whore! WHY TOMMY? I've said I loved you more times then I thought possible, but you still think that I'm-"

I raised my good arm up to his cheek and slowly grazed it. "Shh. I love you. I'm really sorry that I said all that shit. Adam, we're going to have a baby. How could I not…" My eyes widened when instead of him crying clear liquid and transparent tears, blood started trickling down his tear ducts. "A-Adam, you're crying blood!" I said, trying to wipe them away, but they kept coming. My fingers were becoming stained with his blood that shouldn't even be coming out of his eyes! What was happening?

This isn't a dream. It isn't. If it was, I wouldn't be feeling this pain, things wouldn't be trying together like perfect intricate knots. And in all my dreams, Adam dies, but I don't get involved. This is real. The expression, 'Pinch me, I must be dreaming', doesn't apply because I got stabbed in the shoulder, but I'm not going anywhere! This is real, so fucking real. Adam's crying blood and its reality!

"I-I told you…I was going to die. That's why I wanted to tell you that I love you and Leo more then anything else in this entire world. I wasn't screwing you Tommy, I want to be with you. I'm sorry if you think badly of me, but I always will love you. And I've been meaning to tell you that I…" He groaned, shutting his eyes, letting the blood tears streak down his face. "I…I wanted to tell you that I…" He dropped his head, coughing up blood and heaving. He choked, dropping the knife to the floor and holding his chest. His eyes widened and I gasped, grabbing his face and making him look at me. "Tommy…" he whispered, his eyes rolling into the back of his head as blood drip out of his mouth and eyes. He collapsed falling limp onto of me. His breathing seized, and his heart stopped.

No. This is a bad dream. Please be a bad dream.

It's a nightmare. And it's not real. I'm going to wake up…

_And Adam won't be alive._


	14. Magic Does Happen Through Misery

Hey kitties! This is the final chapter to Sad Magic! I'm really happy you guys stuck with me through this story and I appreciate all the support. I wasn't planning on it, but because you guys seemed to like it so much (or at least I hope you did), I'm gonna make a sequel! For all you know, the giant twist could be Tommy knocking up Brad! But then, knowing me, I'll make them fall off a cliff at the end of the story. Nah, I kid. Anyway, here's the last chapter! But the sequel is coming, so don't jizz your panties yet~ ;)

* * *

I groaned, cringing and breathing hard, biting my bottom lip. My hand grasped tightly onto Adam's shirt and I tried not to shit my pants. This pain was the most excruciating thing I've ever felt. Ever feel your lip stretch onto the back of your neck? That's what it feels like. I'm going to die. I'm too weak without Adam. I'm going to die. I can't…Do this…

"Tommy, you have to get into your own room. Leo's coming any second. Please…" Monte begged, tugging on my shirt, trying to get me out of Adam's bed. He's been here for the past five minutes, trying to convince me to leave, but I'm not leaving Adam! I can't. I won't.

"N-No…I'm not leaving A-Adam's side…" Another contraction hit and I screamed into my coma-ridden boyfriend's shoulder. "I-I…Did this to him, so I refuse to l-leave him…Leo can wait f-for another month!" I yelled, crying and kissing the brunette's neck. His skin was so cold. A great contrast to my burning skin. Sweat was trickling down my back and I was curled into a tight ball by his side, breathing in and out through my nose. I tried my best to remember back to the Lamaze DVD's Adam had bought for me so I wouldn't be scared. But I was almost positive he would be here with me, so I didn't pay attention! He would be by my side telling me what to do! NO! What went wrong?

"Tommy, I'm sorry, but the longer you wait the more chance you have at risking Leo's life! Adam isn't going to wake up for god knows how long! He's been in a coma already this year, and he was already diagnosed with Cerebrovascular disease. Adam's as good as dead! We're going to take him off life support this week. Now, if Adam were alive, he'd want you to put Leo before him!" Monte yelled sternly, looking hard at me. His eyes told me to believe him, but I couldn't!

Adam could die! NO! I refuse to believe that my baby was going to die. I can't…No; Leo isn't going to grow up with a single parent. I didn't kill my boyfriend with my words. I couldn't have. He was so precious to me. Why did this have to happen? Another shot of pain hit, and I withered, sobbing.

Tears were pouring out of my eyes from the pain and my bottom lip was bleeding from my constant chewing. "N-No…Adam has to be alive! I won't allow him to die! He's alive! My Babyboy is alive! Leo's not gonna grow up without a father!" I screamed, looking up at Adam's face that who was as pale as a ghost, but still so beautiful. It's been in the same position for a month. He hasn't moved in a month. He's been like this and I've been by his side, dying with him. "I-I love him…" Another electrical shock made its way through my body and my black skinnies got wet. OH FUCK ME.

"Tommy, your fucking water just broke! We have to get you to a private room! I'm sorry, but you're coming with me!" Monte said, picking me up from Adam's side and taking me out of the room. I screamed, tears pouring down my face. I thrashed in his hold, crying and reaching out for Adam, but I was already out the door. I bawled, screaming on the inside. I couldn't talk; the pain was so intense.

No, I can't do this without Adam. I can't! HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HERE WITH ME! Not in a fucking coma! I'm not capable of doing this without him! He would be burying his head into my neck because he would be so nervous. Where are you Adam? Don't leave me alone!

I started bawling into Monte's shoulder and he groaned in discomfort, setting me down on one of those fucking stretcher things. I kept sobbing, the pain getting more and more unbearable. I squirmed uncomfortably, my pants and boxers wet with something sticky and weird. I didn't know what it was. My brain wasn't processing correctly, but it was fucking weird!

"Tommy. Listen to me now." He said as he whisked me into a room and locked the door shut. As he was preparing whatever the fuck he was doing as he spoke to me. "I know you miss Adam. I know you love Adam. But if you want any part of Adam with you after he's gone, you're going to have to be strong for the part of Adam in you. Leo Rose Scream Lambert is the only part of your Adam left. And if you're going to be weak, you're gonna kill her. Do you want to kill your daughter?" Monte asked, putting on some gloves. He walked over to my side and looked at me seriously. I tried to look up at him through my water stained eyes.

I sobbed shaking my head and shuddering from head to toe. What the fuck? NO! I wouldn't be able to live with myself if Leo died because of me. Just no. So, I had be strong at this point. In order for Leo to live, I must get over Adam's death and remember that she's going to be here soon. For Leo, I'm going to have to stop thinking about my dead boyfriend.

"Then be strong for her. You've gone through a lot of shit for Leo. Remember when you got your first tutoring lesson from Adam? You both got high then he just about screwed you. Then there was that time in the bathroom. And when you were feeling sick, he carried you home. He loves you…"

"H-How did you k-know about all the s-stuff?" I asked, crying a little less and remembering the good times with Adam. The pain was fading. Either that or I was just trying to not think about it. Monte was distracting, that's so good. Thank you…

Monte smiled and was setting shit up. "Every night before he ever admitted he loved you, Adam would call me up and tell me every single interaction he had with you. Good and bad. He would tell me when he raped you, hugged you, kissed you, and just talked to you. He was so excited that he called me and talked for hours about how great you were. Tommy, he loves you so much and more then anything else, he would want to be with you right now."

"T-Then why isn't he with me?" I screamed, biting my bottom lip and staring at the door. Adam. Adam, come to me. Wake the fuck up. I don't care if it's gonna be fucking predictable that you do wake up! I don't fucking care! Just wake up and be with me. Be with…

"He's not coming Tommy…But Leo's going to come, I swear to fucking god. Now sleep…" Monte put a mask on me and I got groggy, looking at the door.

Adam…Come to me…

_Adam lay on the bed with me, his head tucked into my neck as his hand ran circles on my stomach. I sighed contently, a smile forming on my lips. This was it, perfect. A perfect moment in time that I know I'll experience again. Adam was here, Leo was healthy and ready to burst any minute. I couldn't be happier. No dreams of death, no drama, no Brad, no sex, just me, Adam, and Leo. Pure bliss. _

"_Baby…Will I be a good father?" Adam asked, looking up at me with big blue eyes. I couldn't help but smile, kissing his forehead. How could he even ask that? I can already tell that he's going to be one of those kick ass dad's that would murder you if you laid a hand on his daughter. And with that kind of protection, Leo will never get a boyfriend. Which is both good and bad, I guess. But hey, don't mess with Adam Lambert or else you'll be split in two._

"_Babyboy, you'll be the best father in the world. I know it. You're not gonna let Leo leave the house without telling her to look both was before crossing the street, huh?" I said, cuddling in closer to him. He chuckled, his coffee flavored breath stinging my nostrils. I missed that scent. It was so familiar. I loved it and I want it to come back. Perfect moment. Don't think about the future; don't think about the past, think right now. The present._

"_Tommy…" he whispered and I looked up at him. He smiled at me and lifted up my chin. "Glitterbaby, when you wake up, I won't remember anything." My eyes widened and I opened my mouth to say something, put my shook his head and I went silent. His eyes sparkled with regret and sorrow. "I lost my memory due to my coma. You see, I was already in a coma this year, plus with my disease, all the strain took a toll on my mind. So I forgot everything about my eighteen years of life. So you're gonna have to take care of me and Leo. Help me remember you, so I can help you help me, do I make myself clear?" he asked, kissing my forehead._

_Tears had risen to my eyes, but I nodded, biting my bottom lip. He forgot everything? He won't remember who I am? And in that case, does it mean he won't love me? Does this mean that everything we've ever gone through led to this moment where I'm gonna have to remind him who he is. Why?_

"_Remember when I was trying to tell you something, but then I fainted?" he asked suddenly, smiling seriously at me. His lips were plump and I kissed them, tears streaking down my face, he kissed back and I nodded. I remember._

'_I've been meaning that I want to tell you that I…'_

"_I wanted to tell you that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I know you kind of got that guess when I knocked you up, and you probably still thought that I was feeling obligated to just stay with you for Leo. But that's not true. Tommy, I love you more than my own life. And when Leo does come, I'm going to love you both so much, that my heart's probably gonna explode. Tommy, I love you. And I want to marry you. I know it's a bit too early, and it's kind of weird that I'm proposing to you in a dream, but I don't even think we need a ring to determine to spend the rest of our lives together. Glitterbaby, you're my everything, and when Leo is with you, I would gladly give up my life to protect you both. So please, help me remember what I just told you. Because I'm going to be blank."_

_I gasped, sobbing into his chest and shaking my head not wanting him to leave. He smiled and laughed a little, poking my nose with his index finger. How could he be so happy? Because he's the strong one, but now I'm going to have to be as strong as him._

"_Honestly, I never thought any of this was going to happen. Nine months ago, you hated me and I teased you. But I always knew there was something special about you, so thank you for changing me. It's because of you that I am who I am today. And it's because of you," he placed his hand on my stomach, "that I am able to feel love. Call me cliché, but I love you, Glitterbaby," he mused, kissing my forehead. "And even if I forget it, I know you never will. I'll see you when you wake up."_

_Then he disappeared, leaving me in my bed alone, tears pouring down my face._

_Don't go…_

A high pitched wail woke me up and I groaned, tossing and turning. Just a few more…I gasped, shooting up from my bed and looking around, trying to make my eyes adjust. Where was I? The walls were white, and it smelt weird. I looked down and saw that I was in a white bed, with a beige blanket draped over me. I was sweaty and I stuck my tongue out like a dog. Shit. What the fuck was happening? I glanced to my left and my heart stopped.

Holy fucking shit. That's right. Dream Adam said this was going to happen. I would see him again. He's here. Oh my god, he's here. He's not dead. He's not in a coma! Monte was wrong! He fucking said Adam was going to be taken off life support this week, but he's alive! In his fucking leopard boots! Oh my god, he's not dead.

"Adam?" I wheezed, reaching out to him, but then groaning and clenching my stomach. It hurt like a bitch. But it wasn't big. Why the fuck not? What happened to Leo? Why is Adam here? Where's Leo for that matter? Wasn't I…No, this doesn't make sense. Hold the fucking phone, what the shit is happening?

"I…Don't remember who you are…But…This is Leo?" he asked, walking up to me and handing me a pink blanket. I blinked confused, but looked down at the baby. She was just like her dad. Wait holy fucking hell. This was too much to take the fuck in! First Adam's not dead, and second, this girl is in my arms after being in my stomach for nine months. She's alive? And healthy I presume considering the fact she's in my arms. Oh my god, she was so light. So small. What the hell?

My Leo had strawberry milkshake hair and when she opened her tired eyes, they were almost liquid chocolate. Her skin was porcelain like and I couldn't help but break out into a grin at the small amount of freckles gracing her nose. Her light red eyebrows were furrowed together and she was crying. Oh, god. She's alive. She's here. My baby. _Our _baby is alive and healthy. She's not screwed up. Even if she was somehow deformed, I would love her until the end of time. But at least we don't have to put a cherry on top of shit this way.

But wait, Adam? I glanced up at him and blood was trickling from the corner of his mouth. He blinked innocently and wiped it away looking at it. Then he looked back at me, blushing a little and looking to the side, embarrassed. He's embarrassed? That's out of character. Wait; remember what he told you in your dream. He doesn't remember fuck, so you gotta help him. Every step of the way.

"Who are you?" he asked and my heart fell. No, my daughter was just fucking born out of _me_. A man. I still remember freaking out about the whole idea and thinking of abortion. But now that I look at her, she's so fucking sweet. Jesus Christ, I can barely handle this. I want to cry from happiness, but I can't because Adam would freak, and Leo would start wailing. And if that's the case, I'm like the glue keeping this shattering family together. Holy fuck.

"Adam, Babyboy. I'm Tommy." I patted the place by me on the bed and he sat down lying next to me and I cuddled into his chest. He tensed and I sighed, sitting up and looking at him. "I'm your boyfriend Tommy who somehow ended up pregnant with this beautiful girl. Her name is Leo Rose Scream Lambert. She's your daughter, baby," I said, handing her back to Adam. She immediately stopped crying and looked up at her dad with big eyes. They sparkled, and part of me wished her middle name was like, Glitters or something. That would have been gay though…Whatever, it'd be awesome.

Adam looked down at her with complete and utter infatuation then gazed back at me. "Boyfriend? I'm gay?" he asked, rocking the pink blanket back and forth. Even though he didn't remember shit, he still took to her.

"Yea. And this is your daughter. Babyboy, look at her…" I said and he did so, looking down at Leo who perked her plump lips together (given to her by me, thank you very much) and formed a spit bubble that popped and she smiled a like a son of a bitch. That same son of a bitch smile Adam always had. And I couldn't help but smile when he did.

"Leo…" he mused, taking his long finger and brushing some of her hair out of her face. "You know, I can't really believe this. Apparently I knocked up my boyfriend and he popped out this little number. Not something one would expect when coming out of a coma…" Then he put on a sad face and I saw tear brim onto his eyes. "Why don't I remember?"

I chocked a bit, leaning my head on his shoulder and he laid his on mine. Wow, he's so easy going right now. After explaining minimal information to him, he's comfortable enough to hold his daughter and let me be close to him. My god, this is my Adam. He was pretty fucking easy going, difficult, and a douche bag, but he was pretty laid back.

"I…You have this disease. And before this coma you were in another one, and I guess your body couldn't take the strain, so your brain kind of exploded on you, causing you to lose your memory…" I said, shrugging and smiling when Leo let out a huge ass yawn. She blinked, her brown eyelashes, squirming a bit in the blanket and reaching her small hand up. Adam titled his head to the side and placed his index finger in her palm. She immediately grasped it and pulled it into her mouth where she sucked on it with a smile, closing her eyes and breathing lightly.

Adam broke out into the happiest grin I've ever seen on his face. Oh, god. "She likes me, Timmy! Look!" I sighed, nodding, and then reminding him that my name was Tommy. It hurt, my heart was breaking, but I had to stay strong. He groaned and buried his head into my shoulder. Well that certainly didn't change. He still likes burying his head into things.

Leo sucked on his finger for awhile until she eventually got too tired to do anything other then sleep. Her heavy eyelids fell and Monte came in, taking her.

"I need to make sure she's alright. You two can catch up and get a full night's sleep. For the next twelve months, you won't be sleeping much…" he said, smirking and walking out. I didn't want him to take Leo, but I was freaking tired. Sure, I didn't have a natural birth (fucking hell, you idiots, I don't have a VAGINA, alright? I couldn't pop the kid out from my dick. A c-section is the only reasonable solution), but it was a pretty exhausting task. Adam looked down awkwardly and I grabbed his face, making him look at me. He did, and his eyes looked so innocent.

"Don't worry. Even if you don't remember anything, I'll help you start a new life with me and Leo. It'll work out, I promise," I said, cupping his face in my hands and lightly kissing his lips. He may not remember shit, but that doesn't mean I can't do everything possible to help him through it.

Now that Leo's born, I have to be strong for the both of us. Be the glue that keeps this family together.

"We're a family…" Adam muttered on my lips, wrapping his arms around my neck.

"Family…" I whispered, kissing him back, savoring the taste,

He was alive, and so was Leo. We're a family now; probably gonna be a dysfunctional family, but none the less…

And it may be like magic or something, but Adam Lambert, the person who hated me with a passion, knocked me up and then we went through shit loads of drama. And even now, with his memory gone, he's still willing to learn.

Because he's here now, alive, with me. And that's about the most fucking magical thing ever.


End file.
